(Closed) ADVICE: Invited to Coworkers baby shower, but that coworker doesn’t like me!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@muckmoo1:  For heavens sake, its an invitation, not a summons!  Don’t go!  Tell whoever is hosting you’re so very sorry but you already have a commitment that day. 

This is a social function, not a work function so you needn’t worry about not being perceived as a “team player” for not attending a baby shower. 

Post # 4
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry you’re going through this. You should probably still send a gift, just to be nice, but you could a) have other plans or b) be sick that day. That’s all I can think of right now. GOOD LUCK!

Post # 5
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Don’t go, no biggie.

Post # 6
Member
5755 posts
Bee Keeper

I’d never be pressured into going to something I didn’t want to go to or because I would be expected to attend. Is anyone doing a joint gift in the department? If so, I’d ask to contribute, make sure my name is on the card too, and call it a day.

Post # 7
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2009

Call in sick?

Post # 8
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Work parties are hard because of this sort of thing.  Don’t go and buy her a package of diapers or something small and unpersonal, or go in with a large group on the gift.  But definitely don’t make it a time to bring up old ugliness.

Post # 10
Member
3943 posts
Honey bee

Is it during work time? Either way, I would just not go and get her a small gift and a nice card.

Post # 11
Member
714 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@muckmoo1:  Why would you contribute to a gift for someone who has been nothing but rude to you?  I would just ignore both the “opportunity” go contribute to the group gift and the shower.   

Post # 12
Member
1629 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I would respectfully decline the invitation due to a conflict that day.  She doesn’t have to know that your conflict is that she’s a bitch.

Post # 13
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Well if you plan to stay with this company for a while, it’s best not to make things too personal and cause conflict. She obviously dislikes you, but she did a blanket invite, essentially putting the ball in your court. She’s hoping you’ll be the one to decline, so she doesn’t look like a douche for not inviting you.

I agree with the other bees, you should contribute to the group gift and make sure to sign the group card. If there isn’t a group card, then send one separately. Then make some excuse as to why you can’t go. She’ll still be obligated to include you in the thank you card, and she can’t later complain about how ‘you dislike her’ because you were the only one who didn’t show up.

Post # 15
Member
389 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Don’t go and don’t contribute to the gift.  You’re not obligated to go to the shower of some bitch you don’t like just because everyone else is.  And I certainly would NOT contribute to a gift – screw that!  Who gives a damn about etiquette?  She has been making your life miserable and doesn’t deserve ANYTHING from you, not even a card signed by you.

The topic ‘ADVICE: Invited to Coworkers baby shower, but that coworker doesn’t like me!’ is closed to new replies.

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