Post # 1
As the title says: was it worth having your husband with you when you delivered your baby? Were they helpful? Were they in the way? Did it bring you closer together? Did you want to choke him by the end of it? I go back and forth with this but I’m curious to hear from others: What are the pros and the cons of having your husband go through labor and delivery with you? How did they feel about being there with you?
Post # 2
It was absolutley something I needed.
I was unsure as to how he would do. He is VERY supportive, but any medical setting makes him pass out. When I was in labour though, he was able to be there through it all. Even looked to see my “progess,” which was REALLY surprising to me.
I was at 10cm without an epidural and he was there through it all, encouraging me. When I was pushing, he encouraged me even more, and his encouragement was so effective in pushing out our daughter! Having him there brought us even closer together, if that was possible.
There were no cons to him being there. I think he gained a new respect for me, and to this day, he still will randomly tell me how awesome I was when I gave birth to our daughter.
I just can’t imagine not sharing something so awesome and life changing. That moment when we both cried (and he isn’t a crier!) at the first sight of our daughter was amazing.
Post # 3
- Wedding: January 2016 - Church in Shedd Oregon
I’m not pregnant nor have I ever had a baby BUT when I think about what it is going to be like when I do go into labor and have a baby I get freaked out. I would want my fiance (hopefully husband when i’m having a baby haha) in the room with me and I wouldn’t want him to just stand there and take up space I would want him to be soothing me and understanding the whole process and having the experience WITH me. I’m sure if you get your man involved and educated about child birth then having him with you in the room will be a much easier choice.
Post # 4
I’m pregnant now, no kids here yet… But I couldn’t imagine NOT having my husband there (this is ever, not just now that I’m pregnant). I’ll be bringing OUR child into the world and I would absolutely want my husband to be a part of that, I would be offended if he didn’t want to be there.
Post # 5
urchin: +1 to everything — there were no cons to him being there, only pros!
During the early parts of my labor, when I was still moving around, I leaned on him a LOT … and I don’t mean emotionally. I mean I literally leaned my full weight on him during contractions, burying my head into his shoulder like a baby. Then when things were most intense, I don’t really remember him much — he was there, but he was quiet and unobtrusive while I went into myself to find focus. And then when DD was actually being delivered, he was the loudest voice screaming “PUSH” and then he cried when DD finally came out and gave her first cry. I can’t possibly imagine giving birth without him there!
Post # 6
I haven’t even considered not having my husband in there with me, except in some of those delivery nightmares where it’s an emergency and he can’t get there in time. Tentatively he’s going to be waist up support for me; we aren’t making plans for him to do any of the down there work or holding my legs or anything as much for him (gross out factor) as for me (I don’t want to worry later that he’s freaked out by my v). But if it happens and in the moment he decides he wants to be down there seeing the action, then that’s fine too.
I can’t imagine being in that setting, which will be scary and emotional, without him by my side as encouragement, support, and my voice if I can’t make rational decisions for myself. He’ll know our plan in detail and I trust him without reservation to make the right decision for me and the baby if I’m unable to in the moment. And to speak up if the doctors or nurses are doing something outside of what we want.
Maybe most of all, I can’t imagine him not being there for every moment of something as monumental as the birth of our first child. He’s seen me at my very best, and at my very worst, and I’m betting this will be an emotional combination of the two!
Post # 7
urchin: My husband does HORRIBLE in medical environments too! And he’s a fainter to boot! So I’m glad to hear that the birth of the baby overshadows that. He’s ok to be there (although petrified…) but I just have this terrible vision of him passing out early and giving himself a concussion and well… then he’s not going to be very supportive all concussed…
I’m glad to hear there are no cons. Some women at work told me they wouldn’t have their husbands in with them again. In fact one was such a “raging bitch” (her words not mine) during labor that she screamed at her poor husband to stop looking at her and kicked him out of the room but not before he got her ice chips. LOL!
Post # 8
My ex wasn’t there for either of my deliveries but both of them were silent labours and rapid deliveries so it was no problem for me.
Post # 9
- Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA
I’m not pregnant (hopefully in a year or two) but I can’t fathom not having my husband there for what would be one of the most important experiences of both our lives. Not to mention, he’s the person I love and trust most in the world and I will definitely rely on that support. Glad to hear the same from bees who have gone through this.
Eta: sorry if this isn’t helpful since I haven’t actually had a kid. All my friends with kids had their men there and it seemed to be very very helpful.
Post # 10
I cannot imagine my husband not being there while I was in labor. Both times he was the only one present and provided me with a huge amount of support. I leaned into him, rocked with him etc during contractions and he was just awesome through it all. I wouldn’t let him NOT be there if I can help it.
Post # 11
the_newlymintedmrs-s17: I was really impressed with my DH. I had surgery (non-invasive) during my pregnancy, and while I was being taken off of the gourney and onto my bed, he almost threw up because there was iodine on the sheets.. lol!
Hopefully your DH will be the same!
As for being a “raging bitch,” that might be due to personalities more than anything. Im pretty mild-mannered, and never felt angry or irritated while in labour…but my DH and I also don’t fight or talk to eachother that way!
Post # 12
I had an emergency c-section and my husband was in the OR the whole time…he was so helpful and could not imagine him not being there. It was amazing to have him there talking with me and when one baby was born we both got to hear him cry along with our second son. At that moment my DH looked at me and said, “You’re a mom!” and I replied with, “You’re a dad!”. The moment was so surreal and its a moment that couldn’t have without him.
Post # 13
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
The plan is for us to hire a doula for actual labor support. Mr. LK would still be with me throughout, but he would have the doula there to share duties with. I love my husband, but he does not have the best temprament and skill set for good labor support. He just worries and stresses too much. I need someone who is calm, in control, and assertive when necessary.
In delivering DS, my ex was pretty useless. He actually went and vomited at one point in time during pushing. Seriously, dude? I am the one working hard here and you are the one getting sick?
Post # 14
I was glad to have him there, he held one of my legs to help me push! DH balled like a baby when she was born so I know he was happy to have been in the room to experience it. Before I had my epidural I snapped at him a few times (like “don’t touch me there!”) but after I had that it was pretty relaxing until it was time to push.
Post # 15
I had my FI in with me and he was an excellent support, we are expecting our second child in August and I wouldn’t consider not having him there. Whenever I started losing focus he would bring me back to it. Afterwards he said it was a very traumatic experience but he’s glad he was there (we did have a difficult birth so I can understand his feelings) <br />One of my friends husbands kept stealing her gas and she made him leave in the end because his way of coping with the situation was being a jokey jerk and making out like she was being over the top. So maybe it isn’t for every guy..