Advice! Marrying an 0-6

posted 3 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I’m an active duty O-3 married to another O-3; we’re both Navy. The biggest advice I can give is to not ignore his female coworkers (or in the extreme case, fear them as competition). My squadron’s spouses club bonded very well over two deployments, and I feel like they’ve never tried to include me in anything. Sometimes it’s pulling teeth just to talk to them at a function we’re all at. I think it usually boils down to that I’ve spent more time with their husbands than they have during this tour. It’s incredibly frustrating, because I don’t have a built in friendship network like they do, so I just feel left out.

Post # 4
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@EAR123:  I am marrying an O-4 and I have to say, I’m not involved in anything! I find that the stay at home military wives do more with the key spouses group, etc.  I do work on base though, which has given me more of an understanding of military life than talking to FI lol. Don’t stress. You will pick up things as you go. Just remember to set an example for the other wives with your behavior, dress, etc. Start slow, and at your own pace with the spouses group. When in doubt, don’t open your mouth ;). You can do this!

 

Post # 5
Member
1318 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

As a fellow military wife (National Guard though..we don’t live on a base and I am not involved) I can recommend you look into a military spouse support site. I found one while my DH was deployed and those ladies and gents helped me tons. Many of them have tons of experience and information about all things involved in the military life. Personally, I kep myself detached from DH’s work as much as possible.

I don’t know if I can post the site so PM me if you want my recommendation.

Post # 6
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@EAR123:  I only wish you two the best of luck! My husband and I were married last year and will have our wedding reception next June. He is active duty O3- Army stationed at Fort Hood. It’s been difficult as I work as a physician at an off post hospital. I don’t have much time to be involved in FRGs, Officer Spouses Clubs and what not. We are both still young and enjoy life with out children. Most officers our age have multiple children so its difficult for us to relate to them. My personal experience and view is that I stay busy with my own life and he stays busy with his. We have kept our individuality after marriage even down to the military lifestyle. I don’t think of myself as living the military life I just think that I will get to see many parts of the US and world and my husband may be on long “business” trips at times. 

Post # 7
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@ChristyK:  I’m right there with you! I’m not involved in any spouses clubs! I have my career, FI has his, and although we are friends with numerous military couples and associate with them all the time, I find the wives in those couples are just like me, which I like! I once asked FI if I was “supposed” to be involved and he said “do what you want”. And that’s what I did!

Post # 9
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@EAR123:  just be yourself. Stay grounded. Always be fair and don’t show favoritism. 

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