Post # 1
We have the invites ready to go out for a 2/11 wedding and my great uncle suddenly passed away. I am torn with how to send out that invite. Should I send it to Mr. & Mrs. as it is currently addressed. That worries me that I would upset my aunt to see his name addressed. Should I send it to Mrs. and Guest and show in print how quickly her loss is affects her status and mail. I’m pretty sure she won’t come anyway because she is in mourning but I don’t want to upset her more.
Post # 3
Can you call her children, or another relative that you can ask? Is it too soon for your mom to call her, express the grief you feel and see what she would want?
Post # 4
I wouldnt send an invite to Mr. and Mrs, that might upset her especially since you know her husband is not around. I would write it however she likes to be addressed.. Mrs. Anna Brown or Mrs. John Brown.
As for the & guest part, I would probably leave that out too.
Post # 5
We will see them at the funeral on Tuesday. I just feel it’s so selfish and inappropriate to ask at that time. I may try to pull a cousin aside and ask but nothing seems right. We are all so devistated.
Post # 6
Do not send an invitation to a deceased person.
It is very hurtful to receive mail that comes by accident, but if the person knows better, I wouldn’t want to be reminded about what I have lost.
Post # 8
@Stagestar2000: If I’d realized it was that recent I wouldn’t have suggested asking her. The cousin is the way to go.
Post # 9
I agree about talking to someone else to see how she would feel. It’s such a personal thing. I know that my great aunt prefers to not see his name, even several years later (so for her it’d be Mrs Great Aunt & Guest), but my grandmother wants to have his name there and even (again, years later) keeps his name on her voicemail – she changed providers and lost the message he’d recorded, which I get why that can be reassuring, but now still has his name tehre (and my gramps has been dead probably 14 or so years now). My grandmother would be insulted if I didn’t put Mr and Mrs HollysLastName
Post # 10
I agree with pulling aside a cousin or another relative, just don’t do it a the funeral or it will seem insensitive. Perhaps try asking a few days later, maybe you can get your cousin’s email or something and make sure to stay in touch.
PS, I am so sorry for your loss!
Post # 11
I agree with Moneyface, just address it to her and leave out the guest part. If you’re able to ask a cousin, that would probably help, too.
Post # 12
Address it just to her without a guest. Let one of her kids know that she’s more than welcome to bring a friend, etc. if she chooses. I can imagine seeing “and guest” so soon would be upsetting.