Post # 1
I was wondering, how are you guys saving for your wedding? I’m not engaged yet, but we’ve talked a lot and have a timeline in place. Being young, I’m honestly hoping for help from my parents. I’m still attending school (in my junior year) so I don’t have time available for a full time job. Please don’t take this rudely in any way, I’m just looking for some advice from fellow bees! I know my SO is saving for my E-ring, but that’s only the beginning! We’ve been together for over 4 years now and I really don’t want to wait 4 more before tying the knot! I know we’re young, but it’s way more than just “puppy love”, I’m sure you ladies understand! That being said, I need all the help I can get to be able to have a wedding, buy our first place, etc. Has anyone out there dealt with this sort of thing? I’m excited for our future, but if we try to just save money, it will be 10 years before we’re married.
Thanks so much in advance!
p.s. I’m usually good about commenting back to responses, but I will be leaving shortly. If I don’t get back until tonight it’s because I’m studying for an exam I have tomorrow. Thanks again for the help! =)
Post # 3
I think you need to get engaged to see if your parents/his parents will help out or not.
I know you don’t want to wait, but if you’re broke and your parents won’t help, I’m not sure what alternatives there are? We waited until we could finance our own wedding and it was a couple of years after we graduated until we got engaged.
Post # 4
Sometimes you just have to live within your means. I took on 2 jobs. I work full time, attend school in the evenings and work my second job on the weekends. That’s how I’m saving.
You may just have to have a small or tight budget wedding. Or you might have to hold off on purchasing a home together. Sometimes having it all isn’t an option. If “THE” wedding is important to you… you might ahve to wait 4+ years for it.
Post # 5
this is very true, I know my parents are accepting and they have talked about contributing so we will wait and see. Obviously I’m not rushing into anything, and I most certainly don’t want to start out bad financially speaking. I’m just praying hard that things will work out, and in the meantime want some tips on how to save extra =) I am very good at time management (which I’m so grateful for!) So I will see if I can pick up some jobs over the summers when I’m not so tied up in school. Like I said, I’m thinking out loud here, any advice helps!
Post # 6
I was ready to be married 6 years ago, but we couldn’t afford it until now. We lived together for 5 years and finally tied the knot last month. There’s nothing wrong with waiting awhile to get married, especially if this is your first boyfriend.
Post # 7
If I were you, I would just have the coversation with my parents. I too am a young bride, still in college (graduate in December! WOOHOO!) and I am lucky enough for my parents to be paying for my full wedding. My fiance is two years older than me and has a good paying full time job, so he already has a house, and he paid for my engagement ring. His parents gave us money towards our honeymoon (almost enough to cover the entire trip) and my fiance is paying for the remainder of the honeymoon. I am an only child, so this does have something to do with why my parents were so willing to pay. I am not having an extravegant wedding ($12,000 budget) but this is more than enough for a beautiful wedding in Alabama. I would encourage you to just ask your parents what they would be willing to contribute, that way you won’t have to do any guessing! Since you and your SO have been together for a while, they probably think it is coming soon, anyway! Good luck!
Post # 8
@rachel, wow! I’m so glad everything worked out for you! Congratulations =) Yes, I will definitely talk with my parents, I am just thinking ahead here. I don’t want to bring it up with them until there’s a ring on my finger. My mom knows the engagement will be by next year, so I’m sure she’s already planning in her head! thanks for the advice!
Post # 9
We’re literally going month by month with what we can afford to handle on his monthly salary, neither of us have savings. The FILs have been amazing, and without their help we’d either be living off scraps or not having a reception! But, we didn’t ask, they offered.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2012 - St. Philip Catholic Church/Arcadia Brewing Co.
My Fiance and I had planned on paying for our own wedding and as such it was going to be quite small. One way I saved a TON of money in School was to not drink fancy coffee drinks (I don’t know if you do but HOLY COW THOS COST A TON) and try not to go out to eat. You would be amazed at how quickly little things turn into big clumps of money! I always found it easier to not buy something when I knew there was a great trip (or wedding) I was saving for.
Also it wouldn’t hurt to talk to your parents and find out if they plan to contribute at all. It can be pretty awkward but you’ll have to talk about it sooner or later! We had assumed ours would not and then they all (his and mine) very generously offered to help out.
Post # 11
I’m twenty and in that whole pre-engaged period too. Unfortuanately I am not in school and work full time, but all that money goes to bills so saving for me and my SO right now is really hard.
We are working on nailing down price ranges for different things in our area. We’ve been on venue walkthroughs, and done some online research. Once we get an idea of what we need to save, we’re going to adjust our engagemnt period accordingly. I don’t want to wait to get married either, but the way I look at it, you only get to do this once, and I don’t want anything being sacrificed because I couldn’t pay for it.
I am planning on setting aside ALL of my tax money, and my SO is doing the same, so that will be a couple thousand dollars which will be nice. Beyond that, we are hoping that our family will forgo actual “presents” for holidays and just give us cash or buy certain things for the wedding (10% of the flowers, the shoes, ect).
We are also having a sit down with my Dad and stepmom next week. My Mom has already said she is going to help as much as possible, but I have yet to get anything from my Dad (he’s not as “in the loop” as my Mom) so we are going to see if he will be contributing.
My best advice would be, keep guest count to a bare minimum and put yourself on the strictest budget you can manage. We found out that if we don’t go out to eat and just pay the essentials we can save up to $2500 a month!
Good luck and if you ever wanna talk weddings/waiting/anything PM me!
Post # 12
@ aardvark, yes the whole expensive coffe drinks is SO true! Thank you for the advice. I’m glad you guys got help in the end
@callirome, wow, you are an inspiration! I hope to have a plan like that in place sometime soon, I know my SO doesn’t eat out all that much, but I do. I am working, but it’s just part-time and I have full-time school. My mom is way more “in the loop” than my dad about our future plans. I will be sure to PM you if I need anymore advice, or have any questions I think you can relate to.
Thank you all for your responses! Happy planning/waiting!
Post # 13
You should discuss with your parents about their financial support first, just in case. Next create a budget and stick with it lol. My fiance and I set up an ING account, that helped alot.