(Closed) Advice Needed: Bridesmaids Regret & Fiance Mad

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You can either:

A) put up with it and continue on as is

B) be the bigger person and try to settle the awkward turtle always in the room

C) ask her point blank if she really wants to be there to support you, and if not, see ya later!

Sucks, but that’s it. I’d choose C, but i also don’t understand why there is awkwardness, the reason may make a difference.

Post # 5
1725 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sounds like you had no choice but to ask her to move out and then sell the condo and you did it in the best way possible…she needs to grow up and get over it…maybe you should talk to her about it…tell her you’re sorry for the inconvenience and having to go back on what you originally said, but there wasn’t much you could do about it and ask her if you guys can put it behind you so you can enjoy this season you’re in!

Post # 6
5663 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t have a good answer to this unfortunately. I guess my first thought would be to try and talk to her about the situation she is mad about it and just figure out how to get past that. Tell her you are uncomfortable and feel awkward and want to be in a better place with her and your friendship together. You CAN talk to her this way and then tell her, you feel that it may be best if she isn’t in the wedding but you love her and you want to work on your friendship without that pressure. Which is what a good friend said to me a few months back. We had been having a REALLY hard time the last year and we were not in a good place. But we have been friends for 15 years. needless to say, I understood her rationale but it didn’t hurt any less. That coupled with many other things that have gone on the last year really strained our friendship the last few months. We are adults though and have recently talked this through and are moving forward. HOWEVER, based on the reason that she is mad in the first place, she doesn’t sound like the most mature person and someone that would forgive you or move past you uninvting her so whatever you do just make sure you are comfortable with the consequences. I hope you guys can just work it out!

Post # 7
280 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m really sorry that you’re going through that! Is it possible that you’d still be able to ask your friend from home to also be a BM?  Personally I think its more important to have the people with you on your big day that you want than having symmetry in photographs, but I totally understand that somepeople want to keep things balanced!   

Regarding the Bridesmaid or Best Man in question, I also support @AJester2:‘s option C!  

Post # 8
36 posts

Look, if she is ruining the experience for you over a houing issue you had no control over, she’s not being a reliable friend. If your Fiance doesn’t want to add on another Groomsmen, then talk to this girl about the effects she is having. She may quit on her own. You may just need to nix her yourself, though. People are too worried about etiquette and firing bridesmaids, but if she is negatively effecting the experiences, then be gone!

Post # 9
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Treat this as a friendship issue first.  If you ask a bridesmaid to step down, or give her an out, or whatever phrasing you want to use for kicking her out, it will end the friendship.  Talk to her as a friend rather than as a bride.

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