Advice Needed – Do I find a new bridesmaid!?

posted 3 years ago in 30 Something
  • poll: Should I find a new bridesmaid?
    Yes - She is clearly not being a good friend right now. : (6 votes)
    19 %
    No - Don't make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. : (5 votes)
    16 %
    Maybe - Just approach her about it and find out if she wants to be there. : (21 votes)
    66 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    It seems like she may be to busy with her New bf. I would try talking to her and letting her know that if she is to busy that she doesn’t have to be in the wedding. I would honestly start looking for someone else. Bummer she’s being like that though.

    Post # 4
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I voted for maybe. If you will no longer remain good friends then you can ask her to step down. However, if you are just looking for a different bridesmaid bc you want someone to throw you a shower or other extras, I would not replace her.

    Post # 7
    Member
    128 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @al0818:  I don’t think its bridezilla at all. You have stuff that you need to get done and she should realize that. I know that I wouldn’t want someone in my wedding that doesn’t want to be there or help out. Shes really being a bad friend.

    Post # 8
    Member
    8720 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @al0818:  If that’s the case then I would ditch her. But is your wedding in less than 2 months? If so, I wouldnt ask someone at this stage in the game.

    Post # 11
    Member
    110 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I don’t think you should ever replace people in the wedding party. They aren’t there to be your personal assistants for wedding planning – they are supposed to be your nearest and dearest. If someone asked me to be a replacement bridesmaid, I’d decline and probably not go to the wedding either. What would it say about our friendship? “You weren’t a close enough friend for me to ask you in the first place, but since I need things done I’ll include you at the last second”? Yikes. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2962 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    This is what happened with one of my MOH (I originally had 2). She never showed for anything and never did her part with anything. She ended up sending me a message via FB saying that she wasn’t going to be in the wedding. I didn’t replace her or any of the BMs that dropped out. Less girls, less drama. I didnt want a big BP in the first place. I was very happy with only having 3 of my closest by my side. I wouldn’t replace her. 2 is fine. You don’t want to be looking at your wedding pictures 20 years from now and see BMs you probably  will drift apart from 

    Post # 14
    Member
    2429 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @montrealjulybride:  Sometimes people do grow apart between the engagement and the wedding.

    That said, I think it’s safer to wait to ask bridesmaids until closer to the time when dresses will be ordered — just in case something happens. We waited until we were engaged for about 6 months prior to asking people to be in our wedding party. 

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