- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I’ve been so lucky to have a relatively low-drama (aside from minor annoyances of course) wedding planning process. But it’s 6 weeks out now and I’ve hit a snag. Looking for opinions on what to do.
Two years ago when we got engaged, my friend (close friends in HS and college, big fall out after college, didn’t speak for several years, got reacquainted via social media) offered to do my hair and makeup for my wedding as a gift. She is a professional makeup artist trying to build her business. I’d seen a lot of her work and knew she was talented, and so I agreed. She lives out of state, but she has family here, so she’s here a lot (and she only lives one state over).
Fast forward to this year. In January, she got into a wreck and has had chronic back pain, along with anxiety and depression issues. I repeatedly (seriously, at least 3 times) asked her if she would still be up for doing our makeup and hair, and that I would sign a contract and place a deposit. She assured me that she would love to and never offered me a contract (I know, I know…but no money has exchanged hands either). As the wedding crept closer and closer, I started to get antsy about whether she was serious about coming or not, so we set up a trial a few weeks ago and I was appeased for the time being. Then, I found out she was planning on having back surgery 7 weeks before the wedding. Apparently, recovery from this procedure is usually between 4-6 weeks. I then asked whether she would be recovered from surgery in time. Once again, she reassured me, so I proceeded to book my flight to go see her for my trial.
When I got there and we started the trial, I sat in her chair getting my hair and makeup done from 12:30 to 8:30, with an hour break after the makeup since she had to take a 5 hour energy to keep going. She assured me it wouldn’t take nearly that long on the wedding day because “today we’re just playing”. Needless to say, I was concerned about the timing on the day, especially due to her pain. She requested 3 hours on my wedding day to get me ready…but I was in her chair for 8 hours. Hmm. Again, she reassured me and I flew back home.
She had her surgery a week ago and posts on Facebook about how horrible her recovery is and how she doesn’t know when she’ll be back to normal. I know it’s only been a week, but it made me nervous. So I made an executive decision to lighten her load by letting someone else do my hair (since I had already gotten someone else to come do my BMs hair, which she had agreed with). I sent her this email letting her know.
“Hey, hope you’re healing well! I’ve been a little out of the loop what with the storm and a busy weekend, so I haven’t really had a chance to check up on you until now, but I hope things get less painful and easier for you sooner rather than later! Anyway, with your recovery in mind and the wedding coming up, I think I’m going to outsource my hair to the girl that’s coming. This is not to say I didn’t love what you did with my hair and makeup; I did! (and I got multiple compliments on it) I just want you to still be a guest and have a good time at the wedding instead of worrying about getting me out the door, and I know makeup is your thing anyway. So this basically means that you have 5 makeup applications the day of to worry about and no hair duties. I need you to do my makeup because I don’t think I can find anyone else who can do it as well!!! I keep looking at the pictures and I really love it! Thanks girl, sending hugs and get well soon vibes your way!”
Now she won’t respond to me via email or text. She has been posting multiple things on Facebook via mobile, so I know she’s seen my text. She has clearly been ignoring me, and waiting on me to snap so she can look like the victim. This is her MO, and this is how we stopped talking the last time.
I’m going to give her another few days, and I guess I’ll try again. What else am I supposed to do? My issue is that if she decides to bail, I need to know now so I can find another MUA. It’s already super late and everyone’s probably booked, but I have a higher chance of doing damage control now rather than 3 days before the wedding. Hindsight is 20/20. Ugh.