Post # 1
Or any interested passers-by may feel free to comment as well. 🙂
So, here’s the situation:
Mr. December and I have been wanting to move to Central FL to live with his parents while he goes to graduate school. His dad first proposed this when we found out I’m pregnant, and it’s been growing on us ever since. An application for the school (University of South Florida) is about ready to be sent out, hoping for an acceptance in the spring of 2010.
If Mr. D gets accepted for the spring semester, we have about a 6 week window between our baby’s due date (Thanksgiving weekend) and the beginning of the semester, to have the baby, recover, and make the 12-hour move.
Is it completely ridiculous to try to have the baby here, then move? My MIL’s biopsy results (which are delayed, apparently their local hospital couldn’t handle it and sent it to California) might make the decision for us; if she’s terminal we’ll pack up and go ASAP, but if she’s fine or very treatable, I’m not sure what would be best. We’ve got lots of friends from college (both former classmates and professors) here who really are excited to meet our baby, and we’re at the limits for a bearable driving distance from my family. If we were in FL for the birth, I know my mom could get a plane ticket for pretty cheap, but I don’t know when my dad or brothers could meet the baby… they can’t all afford to fly down, and especially not with hotel costs (I wouldn’t impose them all on my in-laws, especially if Mother-In-Law is sick). Then again, is it worth our sanity and comfort to sacrifice spending time with our newborn for frantic packing and moving stress?
Those of you who’ve had kids, would you have been up for a cross country move with a two week old? Am I crazy? Insurance and medical care will be a mess no matter when we move, because we’d need a pediatrician right away if we moved after the birth, and a follow-up doctor for my recovery. I just don’t know what is best.
(edit: link to the post I wrote about my MIL’s condition: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/in-sickness-and-in-health-1)
Post # 3
Personally, after two weeks from birth I would be in no way shape or form ready to move. If you’re lucky you’ll just be getting the baby on a normal routine and finally getting a couple of hours of good sleep. However, if you decide to move down there for the birth, you’ll want to do that ASAP so that you can get to know your new DR and pick a good hospital. Maybe other moms are different, but after having two kids, this is my opinion. Good luck!
Post # 4
I agree. Being your first baby, I think moving would be a LOT of work! It would be so much easier for you to be settled and have everything in its place where you need it and can easily access it instead of trying to pack, move and then unpack and get settled. Make it easy on yourself. Your friends will go visit. 🙂
Not to mention, it will help you and your hubby having the extra help with the baby from your in laws.
Post # 5
I feel that moving after you had the baby would NOT be a good idea. Everything I’ve read about the first while is that it’s hectic, and I would NOT want to be worrying about packing, renting a moving van, making sure the baby sleeps on the flight/drive over…it’s just too much. As much as it might seem while you’re pregnant, it will be 10 times worse when you’re a new mother.
Post # 6
You may feel tired tired tired at the end of your pregnancy but.. you have no idea what tired is until you have a newborn.
Even if you have to move when you are 8 or 9 months pregnant.. it will be 100 times easier than moving after having your baby.
Post # 7
Start packing! The sooner you get down there and get settled, the better! You’ll be in NO shape to be moving with a small baby.
Post # 8
Call the vans, woman. You need to be settled…before your life is turned upside down. 🙂 My life wasn’t back to normal feeling until 9 months after she was born. LOL Of course, it just so happened that my Mother-In-Law was diagnosed with leukemia 10 days she was born and died about 6 months later. It was horrible.
Post # 9
If you were going for a drive to visit people with a 2 month old, I’d say OK. But two weeks? And packing and moving? Yikes. I’m concerned you’ll run out of rope between caring for a newborn and trying to move.
And I say start looking for doctors ASAP.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2009 - Church Ceremony/Reception at The Waterford House
I voted for before the baby because I think after the baby will be way too hard on yourself- physically and emotionally. I’m sure if you moved earlier, you Mother-In-Law would appreciate the emotional support you’ll be there to give. (And good luck with that, I hope everything turns out okay).
Post # 11
My cousins just made a move with their 9 week old baby- you could move with a baby that small if you want, because they’re so easy at that point- they’re so teeny and all they do is eat and sleep!
Post # 12
I suggest that you move prior to having the baby. Having a baby takes so much out of you initally- emotionally and physically. Having grandparents around could defintely help out, especially when you want to shower and sleep and eat.
As far as your Mother-In-Law, my mother was diagnosed with BC earlier this year and seeing the look on her fast when her grandchildren around is priceless
Post # 13
I’m a new mom of a 2 month old and I voted for “before the baby”. If people really want to see the baby in person, they will. Otherwise, send them pictures via email. My daughter is a super good baby (doesn’t cry a lot, easy to take care of) and the thought of 1). packing and moving and 2). non-continuity in medical care seems like a lot to handle. It definitely can be done; I just think that you really won’t know what tired is until you have to handle a newborn AND moving AND all the little errands associated with being in a new location. And if you have a super fussy or colicky baby….you just might lose your mind and feel overwhelmed.
Post # 14
I would do the move before the baby comes. That in itself is very very difficult! I hate moving! And seriously consider saving some $$ for travel because of MIL’s illness.
I’d have rainy day monies set aside in case the prognosis is poor. I pray it is not though. Wish her all the best!
It’s also going to be doubly hard on mil dealing with your both moving, the baby coming and her not being there and her illness. So please deal with her delicately. I agree, this is a difficult time to do all of this.
Or could you also save monies to have if she is feeling well, your mil come visit and stay for extended time periods with your IL’s?
Post # 15
Bellenga — we’d actually be moving IN with my IL’s. We had considered this before the whole illness saga began, but it seems really definite now. So yeah, we will be right down the hall. 🙂
Pink Superhero — yeah, that’s what I had been thinking too, but now seeing all of this I’m beginning to wonder.
Everyone else — thank you for your advice. I’ve been talking to moms I know and trust and they are pretty much all saying that I will be out of my mind hormonally and completely sleep-deprived the first little while, and that I should not consider moving until she’s at least 6 weeks old. I don’t think we’ll have six weeks, though, seeing as she’d have to come exactly on her due date and we’d have to move a few days before my husband starts school.
So wow, I guess we’re moving (pending husband’s agreement, not sure I’ll tell him that I polled WB!). Anyone know any good OB/GYNs in the Orlando/Tampa area? 🙂