Advice needed: I have no idea what I'm doing with my life.

posted 3 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Paiger8:  First of all, this is pretty normal!  Don’t feel badly about not having it figured out!

 

Second, I think it sounds like a good opportunity.  Who knows, maybe with your current business, and these new found skills you’ll have – it could pay off to benefit you in the end.

Post # 4
Member
4441 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

@Paiger8:  Your mom’s husband offered you the job because he wants to help teaach you the aspects of managing a business — you can’t disappoint him if you’re there to learn!  It sounds like win-win.

 

P.S. DH has a bachelors in math which he can’t do much with, but just having a bachelor’s degree gets him a foot in with several jobs.  Have you thought about going back to school for graphic design?  If you really enjoy your current business that is.

 

I have a friend that does graphic design at a print store and really enjoys it 🙂

Post # 5
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@Paiger8:  I think people operate under the assumption that there will be this moment in your life, where everything like…clicks on and BAM, you’re a grown up…you’ll be confident, have direction, and will suddenly know all the answers to life’s questions.

Its probably one of the most common societal delusions on Earth.

You’re never going to have that moment…its not some continental shift from being a young person to an upwardly mobile adult….its a process of growth, change and evolution…

But none of that is going to happen if you’re too busy worrying about what’s going to go wrong…I have news for you…a lot of shit is going to go wrong…but try not to focus on that, because we are defined by the harder times, the mistakes we make, the unexpected journies life compels us on….and the person who comes out the other end, will be wiser than the person that went in….so be bold, be fearless and live as if there were no regret…its your life, fight for it.

 

Post # 6
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Paiger8:  Oh, I feel for you!! But I promise–nobody’s life is ever “worked out.”  It may look like they have it together on the surface, but nobody, no matter how old or young they may be, has gotten everything figured out.

You’re definitely not alone–most post-college students go through this, and particularly those of us with a general education such as yours (and mine!).  I have a BA in English and a BA in Gender Studies.  Let me tell you how applicable that education is in my current FINANCE position.  Which I hate, by the way.   So I know what you mean about feeling like you don’t know what to do with your life, etc, etc.  I’m right there with you.

But taking a job with your stepdad is not going to ruin your life or even change the course of it.  It’s a PART TIME job, which would allow you to pursue your own business in your off time.  Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me.  You’d have some more spending money (since it sounds like you make all of your regular bills already), and maybe be able to fund some of the other things (like travel, maybe) you’d like to do WHILE you “figure your life out.”  You’d also be gaining really important experience in a professional setting, and likely also in customer service, which sounds shitty but looks amazing on a resume. 

You need to have A LOT more faith in yourself.  Do you really think you can’t handle a part-time job?  You’re an educated, smart young woman who is able to RUN HER OWN BUSINESS at ONLY 25 YEARS OLD.  You are perfectly capable.  MORE than capable.  I don’t need to know your stepdad to know that he doesn’t expect you to work PT in his store FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.  Just give it a shot, the worst that happens is that you get some experience and some cash, and it doesn’t work out in the long run.  This is not about you not knowing what to do with your life, it’s about believing in yourself and your abilities.  I don’t even know you and I know you can handle this.  Now maybe you need to have the same faith in yourself as I — a perfect stranger!!– do, and get out there and actually DO something instead of spending your time worrying about it!

Good luck, and keep us posted!  

Post # 7
Member
10384 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Most people feel this way in their 20s. Also, some of the most interesting and rewarding careers come from opportunities you never planned for! I think you should take the managing job and work your butt off learning as much as you can! I really think, so long as you are professional and work hard, there’s no real downside (except maybe not having benefits since it’ll be part time). It may give you inspiration, it may help you learn how to run your side business more efficiently, or it may convince you to move in a totally different direction with your career. Whatever happens, it will be hugely important and useful!

Post # 8
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Paiger8:  Can you try out the job on a trial basis for 6 months to a year to see if you like it?  Other than that, you will be fine.  I was terrified when I took my first real job after graduating from law school.  I was afraid I would hate the work or the hours or the pay; or worse, I would suck at the job.  Everything worked out and I didn’t suck at all.  It’s okay to not hav elife figured out at 25, I am almost 30 and only feel like I got the hang of being an adult in the last year or two and even then I feel like a kid sometimes (I am over 10 years younger than my colleagues/comtemporaries at work.)

Take the job with the understanding that if it doesn’t work out, the worst thing that will happen is you need to help find a replacement and resign in 6 months to a year.  Best case scenario is that you like the job and rock it or it helps you get another job that you like even better.  You won’t know unless you try.

Post # 10
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@Paiger8:  Fear of the unknown I totally get!  But this is probably a very good opportunity for you, and at least you know you have your stepdad there to help you along.  You already know someone going in, and it sounds like he is more than willing to teach and help you get acclimated. 

Besides, if you always resist changes then you’re bound to always settle for the first thing that comes along.  It would be like marrying your first boyfriend JUST because he was the first person you were with, and you were used to him and it was comfortable and easy…EVEN if you didn’t love him.  Sometimes we have to push ourselves a little.

LOL, I should totally be heeding my own advice.  I’ve been miserable in my own job and too afraid of rejection to try to get something new.  I guess we all have our hang ups!

Post # 11
Member
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I worked for my uncle at his business for a while as his office assistant… at first he would get annoyed with me (he’s very particular about how things get done) but after I got the hang of it, it was great! I (obviously) loved my boss (my favorite uncle), he treated me well, and I never took advantage of it. I learned a TON of useful stuff there, too!
My sister works for him now, and he enjoys it very much. He trusts us so he knows his work will get done properly, and he’s always adding on more responsibility (but never too much).

I’m 25 and sometimes I don’t think I know where I’m headed either. There’s a phrase that pops into my head when I get like that, “Life is like riding a bicycle… to keep your balance, you must keep moving.” So I do! And it’s scary and wonderful and educational all at the same time. It makes me feel like I’m 5, or 18, or 23 sometimes, but that’s just me leaning back on what I’ve already learned.

Good luck!!

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