- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2011
OK, so my Dad really would prefer not to do a father/daughter dance. He will if I ask him to, but he doesn’t like dancing and is pretty shy. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even dance at his own wedding. I completely understand this and respect it. In fact, I don’t really want to have to dance in front of people more than absolutely necessary. I rarely dance and am not comfortable doing it myself.
Last month, Future Mother-In-Law gave me a CD of the song she wants for the mother/son dance that she also wants to have be a surprise for my Fiance. I’ve listened to the song and it’s definitely not something I would ever choose and think it’s pretty emotionally manipulative, as well as long. I think it was written solely to be a mother/son dance song. She gave me the CD and explained how important it is to her that she gets this dance. Back story: she used the same song as a surprise for FI’s older brother’s wedding 15 years ago and it didn’t go over well. She gave it to the DJ and asked him to play it without letting her son or his wife know before hand. Feelings were hurt and she’s still upset about it when she thinks about it. I told her I would add it to the playlist before I listened to it because she was so emotional explaining the backstory and how much it means to her (at that point, I thought I would probably dance with my Dad).
I told my Fiance about it because I would hate to have a repeat of what happened at the earlier wedding (just told him he would need to act surprised and touched by the gesture- which is the reaction she wants). He remembered the song from the wedding 15 years ago and expressed that he was afraid she’d want to use that song. He does not want to dance to it but we are afraid to hurt her by telling her no.
Sorry this is so long.
Can we use my Dad not wanting to dance as an excuse and just tell her we won’t be doing any parent dances?
If we let her do the dance, will it look like my Dad and I aren’t close (we are, just don’t like to dance)? I don’t really want to make him dance since he doesn’t feel comfortable doing so.
Not sure the best way to handle this. Neither Fiance and I or my father really want to do the dance, it’s just her. I want to be respectful.