- 3 years ago
I am posting anonymously as this is extremely personal, but any advice would be appreciated.
My FI and I have been together for 5 years. We have a 2 year old daughter together. The issues are several; he started a business about 4 years ago and has been working 24/7 since. His work days average 10-14 hours Monday through Sunday. In the last two months, he has taken Mother’s Day off. I feel like I can’t say much as I am still home with DD, however I am completing a graduate degree, working one day a week (in a clinical setting), and the rest of the week I help run his business from home (ie. bookkeeping, estimates, invoicing, bills, marketing, client meetings and calls etc.). So it’s not like I sit at home and don’t do anything.
I completely understand that a new business frequently requires ridiculous hours, but I feel like I’m starting to go nuts. I’ve been so emotional lately, I just feel like this business is sucking the life out of everything! We have little to no time as a family, let alone as a couple. I feel so distant from him and it gets me feeling insecure (an issue which I’ve struggled with and have gone to counselling over in the past). We frequently end up arguing, and we just go in circles. It’s SO lonely and I don’t know what to do anymore.
Needless to say, one of the guys that works for him brought a girl in to work yesterday evening. I found out through the employee, and i started quizzing FI about her. It’s immature yes, but I just constantly feel the need to compare myself to others in his eyes. I guess I just don’t feel truly noticed anymore and need to hear that I’m still #1. I don’t know, I feel like an idiot even writing this. But it happened. Anyway, he blew up and started going on about how he hates me always asking about other girls and he doesn’t care about anyone else except me, etc. We got in a fight, and he told me that he can’t handle me anymore, and he’s had enough, etc. etc. That I bitch all the time and I’m never happy, and nothing he does is good enough.
It’s true, I’m frequently upset. This entire 24/7 situation is really beginning to wear on me. I’m trying to be supportive but I’m doing a rather crummy job. At this stage of the game I feel like I’m just trying to keep myself afloat. We have a little one who barely sees her daddy. And I have all the domestic stuff, paperpushing for work, clients to deal with, grad school and the little one. Is it me? Do I need to just grit my teeth and grow up? Is this normal when someone’s work schedule is insane? Help 🙁