- 5 years ago
I just recently got engaged over the Christmas holidays and so far, I haven’t been able to be happy. I have been with my fiance for 5 years and we have such a beautiful relationship. We rarely argue or fight, we get along so well and feel 110% comfortable with each other.
I am a devote Christian and he is agnostic. He was born into a Sikh family, but does not consider himself to be Sikh. This has never gotten in the way of our relationship because I never force my beliefs upon him, we both have similiar values since we were raised in traditional homes. He also said that he has no problem raising our kids in a Christian home or attending church with me one day.
Our families cannot agree about the wedding ceremony. His parents are very insistent about having a Sikh ceremony because it is part of their culture. They are not deeply religious, but they feel that if we don’t have a Sikh ceremony, my family is not respecting his culture. His family thinks that we should have a Sikh ceremony and a Christian ceremony (since dual ceremonies have become popular today).
My family would like me to have a Christian ceremony, but they are willing to compromise and ask for religion to not be involved on the day of our wedding. They will be very upset to see my wedding being blessed by the Sikh god since we are very loyal to our Christian faith.
My fiance has told his parents that he is not religious and doesn’t feel the need to have a Sikh wedding which has made them very upset, and I don’t want him to upset his family (nor do I want to upset my family). He family does not expect us to raise our kids as Sikh either, but they are asking to have the Sikh ceremony.
In the Sikh culture, they believe that there is one god and there are multiple paths to god, no which way is right or wrong. However, in the Christian faith, we believe that Jesus Christ is the Lord and not to put any other god before Him. His family does not understand this, because they have seen numerous Christian/Sikh wedding ceremonies so they don’t understand why we can’t do this as well.
I told my fiance that I can do the Sikh ceremony, even though it is in Punjabi (which my parents and I do not speak or understand). However I asked for my family to be exempt from folding our hands in prayer and accepting their holy communion which is served at the end of the ceremony. His family says that we will be expected to take their holy communion, even if we are not Sikh. This goes against our Christian faith. I am very unahppy about this.
I am not sure what to do, I know that my fiance and I will have a beautiful life together, but our famliy differences are getting in the way of our day. I don’t like that they are asking my family to go against their faith.