Weddingbee boards

You should thank your guests for coming when they arrive at the reception; and you should thank them again when they come to say goodnight before leaving. Those are the inviolable duties of good hospitality.

You should also thank anyone who sends you a gift by writing a thank-you note before you go to bed on the day you receive the gift. People shouldn't, really, be bringing them to the reception; but I know that people do. In that case you don't really end up receiving the gifts until you come home from your honeymoon, and if there are many of them that arrive that way it makes it nearly impossible to write all the notes the same day.

But as for thank-you notes that aren't related to gifts, traditional correct form is that guests should be writing a thank-you note to their hostess! These "bread and butter" notes are supposed to be sent the day after anyone hosts you to a meal. Not to discourage you, of course, from sending any notes you want, to anyone you want to send them to. Social correspondence is a fun practice: you don't even need the excuse of having to say thank-you. You can tell them how nice they looked, that you wish you could spend more time with them (a valid hint that they should offer you some return hospitality-<g>), ask for the recipe to their orange salad that would go so nicely in your new cut-crystal bowl, whatever to use up any extra gift cards and give you the excuse to buy more stationery. Which, by the way, is actually more correct if it doesn't have wedding pictures or the word "thank-you" printed on the front; and it's almost a rite of passage to get new stationery engraved with your new address when you move out (or in, or on).

unless people have travel costs, they should get you a gift (and even then sometimes they still should).  It's a special day for you, you've paid a lot for their meal, and they should get you something!  It doesn't have to be expensive.  Personally I think if they haven't bothered to get anything, I wouldn't bother to send a thank you.