Advice needed: wedding dress just got hijacked!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999  She was with you when you went dress shopping. She knew what your dress is like. There is no way she can come back on you that you copied her dress.

As a pp said, just be glad that your wedding is first.

Post # 2
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’d just keep my mouth shut and be happy my wedding is first!

Post # 3
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Her wedding is after yours so I wouldn’t worry about it.  Obviously she liked your dress or your dress is a popular style right now.

Post # 5
356 posts
Helper bee  I’d be bridezilla all over that. Especially since she knows what your dress looks like- but thats just me. Maybe suggest she should wear a colored sash or something, better yet BUY one for her and say “this made me think of you, and thought it’d be beautiful on your dress!”, it’d change it up a bit?

Post # 8
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Your wedding is before theirs. Also, unless you are almost identical in appearance you will look very different on your respective wedding days. So this is not an issue I’d raise and risk the corresponding drama.

Post # 6
759 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Move on and be happy your wedding is first. best case scenario, no one notices the similarities. Worst case, someone looks kind of silly for wearing the same dress, but it’s not gonna be you. 

Post # 7
2465 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

I guess there are two things you need to address:

1. Do you still want to use the dress you picked out if she wears the very similar one?

If so, then there really isn’t much to say. No reason to start a fight without an outcome. If not, then you need to move on to #2.

2. If not, what would you prefer? For her to choose a different dress, or you?

If you want to pick a different dress, that simplifies things (relationship-wise, but I know it could be a big headache for you). Just be sure to keep her out of the selection process this time. If you would rather she pick a different dress, maybe the easiest way would be to send her links to dresses you think would look good on her, etc? There is really no good way to do this, and you certainly can’t MAKE her choose a different dress. Another option would be to have a heart-to-heart with her, using “I feel” statements. Like, “I picked my dress because I thought it was so unique, and I feel like if we wear similar dresses, it won’t seem that way.” Tread lightly. Good luck!

Post # 9
1417 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

What do the dresses look like? Can you show us pics?

Post # 10
181 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

While I totally understand your feelings, I don’t think you should do anything (as long as you still love your dress!).  Your wedding is first; and the guest overlap is basically your dad’s side of the family I’d imagine, and there is no way it will look exactly the same on both of you.  You may also want to avoid discussing other wedding details with her to the extent possible!

Post # 11
856 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

She’s the one who will look dumb since your wedding is first. How bizarre.

Post # 12
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I wouldn’t care. I would give her the benefit of the doubt that she isn’t aware that her dress is so similar to yours. I imagine you tried on a bunch of dresses when shopping — she probably did too. I don’t know about anyone else, but as a not-girly-girl, they all started to blur together to me. They were all white or ivory with lace, or satin. I wasn’t stuck on buying a certain shape, I just wanted something I felt great in!

I also can’t tell you what any of the dresses looked like for any wedding I’ve been to. They were all pretty and the bride looked beautiful. That’s all that matters to me 😀 You and your stepmom would look drastically different even in the same dress. I am guessing you have different body types, different hair, different veils, different accessories, different makeup, different venues… I am sure that none of your overlapping guests will notice the similiarities in your dresses. And if they do, they hopefully won’t be rude enough to mention it!

Post # 13
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

She obviously knows what your dress looks like, but still got a similar style (there’s only so much to choose from). I wouldn’t bring it up.

Post # 14
1155 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Move on and ignore it, and be happy that your wedding is first!

The handful of guests who might overlap between the two weddings could potentially notice the similarity, but since you’re wearing your dress first, you’re not going to be the one they raise their eyebrows over! The only way you can look foolish here is if you pitch a bridezilla fit about something that doesn’t actually affect your wedding.

Post # 15
1888 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

1. Don’t say anything. 

2.  Be so thankful that your wedding is first.

3.  Show everyone how you rock your dress!

Leave a comment

Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors