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I would talk to her about it personally instead of having her ex talk to her. You never know, the two of them might reconcile before the wedding but you never really know. Since she isn't your friend, I probably wouldn't feel as bad asking her to step down.
@corrc7131: I would talk to her about it before talking to him. Who knows, maybe she'll offer to step down?
I agree with MissAsB. Talking to her personally is the best way to go. She may want to step down and not know how to bring it up.
Meet her for coffee and talk about it. I'm sure she will step down without you asking her to because it would be SUPER awkward for her to be around her former in-laws and ex.
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So my FI, BM, his brother, just recently let us know that he and his wife are sepeating. She is one of my BMs too. I am unsure what to do...obviously I don't want her to stand up any longer given the circumstances and to help avoid the attention to be on them (I know its selfish) but to have everyone watch their every move together to see if there will be drama is more than I'd like to deal with on our wedding day.
Do we bring up the topic up to his BM and have them decide or ask her to step down? Bigger problem is that her dress isn't paid for in full and they will be in within the next week. What to do? Ugh!