Post # 1
I got married in 2008 and still have bad memories of my wedding. I had two braides maides and neither one helped me before the wedding, on the day or during and after the ceremomy. Before the wedding i thought it would be a great idea to go have a nice dinner and talk wedding stuff. I paid for the meal and they then complained that this should not happen again since they were busy and i interrupted their schedule. They were very happy to come for the dress fittings – and bring along their own accessories since they wanted to keep the dress for their own after wedding events so just wanted to check out that the shoes they bought matched the dress i paid for. During the day of the wedding neither one helped me at all. Actually they complained and told me that they were busy on the day and that i should just tell at what time they were expected at the hairdresser and that was it. I was wrong to assume they would spend the day with me. During the wedding reception neitehr one helped me move around, or even come up once to ask me if i needed help. i had a lovely dress and so long and couldnt move but no one cared. I didnt see them at all during the wedding and at the end all i got was one of their sisters tell me that they were going because they were tired. didnt even come up to say bye. I think its better i had no brides maid – would have saved the cost of the dress and at the end of the day they didnt help me at all. Choose wisely. dont make the mistake i did of choosing relatives who were so jealous they didnt even want to help me one bit in case i had a nice wedding.
Post # 2
what’s your relationship like with these ladies now?
Post # 3
One doesnt speak to me because she said that my mother owes her 12 dollars for some decorations that she bought for the wedding and they complain because they said i didnt respect them enough (???) – The dress cost hundreds and what is wrong with a braides maid paying 12 dollars for some confette? The other always asks questions but never asks how i am or how is life. Just personal questions about my life and my family. i asked her if she took pics in the wedding. She said yes……still waiting for them since 2008. She tells everyone what a great friend she is of mine. We dont even speak and in fact NO ONE speaks to her. She is coming to visit soon – a mutual friend told us – she said that she is going to surprise me – surprise me for fucken what? we dont even speak. I have a feeling its all just a game to make trouble. Why would you travel so far to surprise someone when she knows i will be abroad that week? I did the whole wedding by myself. I regret having any braides maid – they got far more than me – expensive dresses, some nice pics and all they did was work for 4 hrs for them……I didnt even have a honeymoon as i had to work. So my advice – Fuck brides maides and do it yourself. you dont need them.
Post # 4
Badmemories: 2008 is a long time ago to be holding a grudge about this. It’s long since past the time to move on. Bridesmaids should be people who you want to be there and who want to be there themselves. You chose poorly, but there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it now. Certainly not all BM/wedding experiences are like yours – my BMs were wonderful and I am really grateful that they were standing by me for my wedding.
Also, “The other always asks questions but never asks how i am or how is life. Just personal questions about my life and my family” doesn’t make any sense.
Post # 5
Six years is a very long time to remain this bitter.
“Dont make the mistake i did of choosing relatives who were so jealous they didnt even want to help me one bit in case i had a nice wedding.”
I hate it when people pull the jealousy card! How do you know they were jealous? Perhaps they weren’t interested in helping because they also have a life and they were focusing on that.
It’s also not their responsibility to help you move in your dress. You should have chosen a more practical dress or asked for help.
I think it’s about time to get over this. Telling others not to have BMs because of this seems rather extreme.
Post # 6
Badmemories: Time to put this behind you and move on. Joining a website to vent about this 5-6 years later is not a good sign.
Post # 9
Badmemories: Did you spell out your expectations for “help” on the day, and did they ever actually agree to provide this kind of help? Were these ladies kind, selfless, supportive and attentive friends to you BEFORE your wedding? If they were disinterested, selfish, jealous friends before, then that behavior would carry over into their behavior as bridesmaids and should not have come as a surprise. We all know not to expect our partners to change just because we get married…we shouldnt expect friends and family to change either just because we ask them to be a part of our wedding.
If these girls were always “busy,” not taking a genuine enough interest in your life to simply ask how you’re doing, and/or in fact jealous, then you’re right, the error was in your choice. I would be quicker to assume these girls simply were not as close friends/supporters as you thought they were before I would assume they were jealous.
Especially with six years gone by, it’s time to write this off as a lesson learned and distance yourself from them. Maybe look into meeting some new people and looking out for people who behave more to your expectations on a regular basis.
Post # 10
I think you are way overdue on letting this grudge go. They were bitchy to you six years ago — That sucks, but what are you really accomplishing by being upset? You’re married, I assume happy, so just drop it and move on. It happened, you were upset, time to put it to rest.
Post # 11
It was six years ago. Move on with your life; the only one standing in your way is you.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
Seems like all you wanted from them was physical labor. Yes?
Post # 13
Honestly it doesn’t matter what the OP expected or what the bridesmaids expected. It’s been SIX years. Everyone needs to move on. Either everyone apologize to everyone else and try to be civil again or stop being friends. Bitching at each other over who owes who $12, or who didn’t carry whose dress, after six years is just silly.
OP at this point the only one causing you to have bad memories of your wedding is you. time to let go.