Advice on Coping through the lows of TTC…

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
661 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@wandering_gypsy:  first of all; *Hugs* …. I am right there with you!!! I saw my Gyno @ 6 months to seek help and he was more than willing to get us started… First thing we had to do was get a SA… Unfortunately for us, DH’s urologist prescribed him testosterone while we were TTC (and he knew our plans very well!) which happens to be basically the best form of male BC!! That Dr retired but his replacement was nice enough to tell us we were screwed for 3 months! We’ve had a bunch of distractions between July (when he should have been recovered) and now, but we are finally getting DH his SA… Today 🙂

Go get help NOW! Insist on it! It is SOOOO easy to rule out male issues with a SA… And they can determine if you ovulate with a well timed blood test – even if you chart and think you’re ovulating you could be wrong… I was…. So my advice is go get help! 

Post # 4
8818 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper


TTC is one of the hardest things, especially when there is no known reason for not getting PG right away.  For me it took 7 cycles, hopefully #7 is lucky for you!

Post # 5
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

It took me 8 months – 8 LONG months!  My advice to you would be trust your gut and use science!  I was wonky coming off the pill and it took me almost four months to regulate.  Meanwhile, I was charting, temping, OPKing, the works.  That made me feel like I had some control, although the temperature drop before AF was always depressing.  I really didn’t even have EWCM until the fourth or fifth month.  My periods were coming somewhat regularly (32 days, 35 days, 36, 34, etc.) so I wasn’t really worried about something being wrong with that.  I definitely ovulated with EWCM twice, then got pregnant on the third time. 

All the waiting definitely takes its toll though!  We got our BFP on August 6 – and we had decided September was doctor time. 

Post # 6
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@wandering_gypsy:  *hugs*  I’ve definitely come to learn this is a difficult process and just because people (while they mean well) tell you to relax…don’t worry…it’s only been ___ long… can take up to a year….. doesn’t help you to actually do any of those things!  Is there someone close to you that you can talk to –I know for me just someone to hug and feel a little less alone helped me a litte.  Sending lots of baby vibes your way that this is your cycle!!

Post # 7
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This is our third cycle, and I am starting to feel the same way. Every month it’s harder to see BFNs, and I think it wouldn’t bother me as much if I were younger, but I will be 34 next month. I am going to talk with DH and if we hit the six month mark, I think I will go to the dr.  Have you spoken with your dr yet? I know they say it could take up to a year for healthy couples,but when you want something so badly, it’s difficult to wait. Hoping your next cycle you will get your BFP.  🙂

Post # 8
4296 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It took us 12 cycles and only got our BFP on our second round of Clomid. I would highly suggest what the PP’s have mentioned and have your DH get a SA. We did that and initial blood work on me 6 cycles in.

Best of luck to you!!! Once you get your BFP you will be over the moon!

Post # 9
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

***MASSIVE HUGS*** It never gets easier.  TTC is very emotional and gets even more emotional when AF decides to show or when you just know it’s not your cycle.  I personally didnt want to keep waiting, so I went to my OB and got tested right away and so did my DH.  He was fine and I was told that my AMH were a bit low for my age, but still not in the “low” side, so even when I was regular and thought everything was A-O-K, it really wasnt.  I am not saying this will be your situation, but its always best to at least get tested and confirm that everything is normal with you and your DH.  Then, you can take it from there.  I feel like everytime I got something done and DH got something done, was a step closer to our BFP and we finally got it.  I am always here if you ever want any kind of support.  I wish you the best of luck and hope to see your BFP rather soon! 🙂

Post # 10
1447 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

*hugs* I’m sorry love. Around 6 months is when I started to wonder if something was wrong and at 10m I went to my doctor and started tests. I don’t think there is anything wrong about seeking out advice. I had totally normal cycles and had no clue my progesterone was low.  I agree with @MrsR4ever:  that once we started to seek help it made me feel better and less stressed because I had done all I could until that point. Tons more hugs. I really hope you get your bfp soon!

Post # 11
765 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@wandering_gypsy:  I’m right there with you and I have been actively trying for less time than you. Had yet ANOTHER 3 people (yep 3 in one freaking week) tell me they were pregnant this week and again same song and dance of “oh it just happened”… blah blah blah… It makes you feel like there is something so wrong with you. I get through it currently by throwing myself into work (I work with children so it does lift me up just a bit) and opening a bottle of wine and writing down my thoughts and emotions and frustrations. It doesn’t solve the problem but I can at least voice it, which I feel like I really can’t within my circle of friends without sounding jealous of obsessive or bitter. And I don’t want to be that way with them so I keep my mouth shut and gush about their children or chatter about how much I love fall and stick to neutral topics. It’s hard and sometimes its painful.

But luckily you can come here and realize you are NOT ALONE. Hang in there darling. Lots of positive vibes and hugs to you!

Post # 13
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Well, today’s the beginning of cycle 5 of TTC for me. A bottle of wine is usually how I begin the month. I went out to a restaurant today and listened to a couple’s screaming toddler at the table next to us. “I don’t know why she’s acting like this!” the mother kept insisting (it never dawned on her to do anything else, apparently, but complain about her daughter’s behavior). The father kept saying, “She hasn’t had a nap, Marie; she’s very tired. I told you we shouldn’t have come here.”

Hey, I love kids. Kids are generally great. I know they have their downsides. But as I sat there spooning down soup, it dawned on me that I was free for longer to go and do whatever I feel like whenever I feel like it – no restrictions. 

No, in my books, having a kid wins out. I’d rather have a child than not. But it never hurts to try and focus on the bright side.

Like many of you, I have no known fertility problems (luteal phase is occasionally short), we BD like it’s going out of style at the right time, I ovulate predictably and consistently, etc. I *have* heard that on average, it takes 4 – 6 months to get pregnant.

That *still* means that half of all couples take longer than that. About half are pregnant by 4 – 6 months.

I think the “oh, it just happened!” camp is just folks who haven’t been charting and really into the whole process like we have. Realistically, they may have been having unprotected sex for several months – so to them, it *did* ‘just’ happen. 

I hear you. It was a sad day for me when I realized that one of my relatives got pregnant within 5 – 6 months – even though she had fibroids and her husband had one testicle. 

But, it gets easy to get jealous and concerned. We’re quite normal, just not as fertile as some others can be.

Post # 14
2187 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Sorry to hear you are struggling hun, but you are most certainly not alone. Having to go through cycles that end without a BFP is always hard, there is no doubt about it. We started trying August 2012 and got pregnant March 2013 and due in November. So, it wasn’t a full year but had to see an RE for other issues, so it was a bit of a struggle and there were lots of hard months seeing BFN’s. 

My biggest advice, is to keep busy. Take advantage of this time with you and your hubby. Don’t delay planning trips, dinners and nights out and FUN things, every month. Schedule things to do duirng your TWW, and even the day or two after AF is expected, so if she comes, you’ll still have something to look forward to. It’s SO hard not to focus on TTC 24/7, but try to just go about your lives and when it happens, it happens – adjust from there. Don’t pass up weekends away, fancy dinners in or out, nights at the movies, with friends, spa days, all that. Treat yourself to something special if AF arrives and just know that every month that passes, is one month closer to your BFP and little bundle. XOXO *hugs*

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