(Closed) Advice on dealing with a smoker

posted 6 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
5428 posts
Bee Keeper

Yikes, that is a loaded question… I would talk to them about it definitely. It’s going to be tough convincing a smoker that their “third” hand smoking on their clothes and hair will harm the baby. They will probably think you are too extreme…

I am an ex-smoker and now can see the effects of my smoking had on others. But I didn’t think it was a big deal before.

Post # 4
645 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

 I don’t feel like I can deny them holding her since this is my mom’s first grandchild. – You kind of can though… There’s no way around the fact that smoking is bad. My brother smokes and when he comes over I feel like his smell lingers throughout my house for awhile. When we have babies I guarantee I will not let him hold baby without being clean! Smoke attaches itself to everything. I really don’t have a whole lot of suggestions, but I hope you figure it out.

Post # 5
114 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I was a smoker when my niece was born, and my sister was incredibly paranoid of me passing on 3rd hand smoke to the baby. Besides making me wash my hands and arms thoroughly, she made me drape a whole blanket over myself when I held the baby. I didn’t find it offensive – she’s a new mother and wanted to take every precaution.

Post # 6
607 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think most people always wash their hands before holding a new baby– at least i always do, and I don’t smoke or anything. So, I don’t think it’s out of line for you to ask them to wash their hands when before touching the baby, especially after they go out to smoke, and you can always have them put a burp cloth down over their shoulder before holding the baby– you could even say she spits up a lot or something if you don’t want to offend. 

I do see what you mean– I don’t think there is likely to be any damage from a newborn being held for a few minutes by a smoker, but it does seem like it would be really disturbing to pick up your newborn and smell smoke on her. They will probably roll their eyes and think you are a neurotic new mom but comply with your wishes. My dad does that with pretty much everything my sister does 🙂

Post # 8
4327 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 1992

@mandb122:  Have them wear hats to smoke in that they remove when they return indoors. Voila! Problem solved.

Post # 10
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Could you ask them not to smoke for the week they’re there? That way, you don’t have to worry about it. I’m sure they’ll understand.

Post # 12
887 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2010

Check out this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/3rd-hand-smoke-telling-grandparents-no-baby-in-their-home

As soon as we told DH’s parents that we were pregnant, we asked them to stop smoking if they could. They couldn’t. So we told them, at the recommendation of our doctor and research, that they would need to wash their hands and have a special set of clothes here that had not been “smoked in.” I’m not willing to risk SIDS to not offend people. They were hurt initially, but ultimately respect our decision. We showed them all of the research and they know that as long as they smoke they’ll have to come to our home to visit and that our child will not be in theirs.

Post # 13
2077 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@redheadem:  No, I can assure you asking them not to smoke for a week isn’t going to fly.  Quitting smoking is extremely difficult.  When you’re addicted to cigarettes, quitting causes many, many withdrawal symptoms (which is why it is SO hard to quit smoking).

OP, I don’t have any suggestions for you except for draping a blanket over your family members before they hold your baby.  Besides making them take a shower after every time they step out for a smoke, you won’t be able to get all of the smell off of them (regardless of whether they change their clothes/wash their hands/etc).

Post # 15
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I have several coworkers who smoke.  As massage therapists, you don’t want to be working on clients when you smell like a cigarette.  Here’s what they do to avoid smoking complaints:

  Never smoke in uniform.  They all change out of their work shirts before each and every cigarette break.

  Wash hands thoroughly, focusing on hands/fingers of course, but they do scrub up to the elbows.

  Use mouthwash and/or gum after smoking.

I have had massages from them immediately after their smoke breaks, and I haven’t noticed it on them.  They don’t change out of their pants, and they don’t cover their hair, (the guys have short hair, but the girls don’t).  I don’t think the hair is a huge concern, especially if they have short hair.  If you’re concerned about it, though, try giving them a hug after they come in and clean up, and give their hair the sniff test.  Wink

Post # 16
2281 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@Miss Apricot:  I agree with this. As an ex-smoker, it think it’s easier to cover oneself while outside smoking than it is to cover oneself once inside to “cover” any smoke residue. A jacket and a hat outside, wash hands. It’s fine.

And you only need to wash your hands once after each smoke. Seriously, you don’t need to wash your hands any harder to get smoke off than you to do get dirt off. 

And for any who don’t understand the addiction – quitting is awful. It is the single worst experience of my entire life – the most painful, crushing, demoralizing, insanity-inducing process I think I could endure. The thing that keeps me from smoking again? The ghost of having to endure quitting a second time. 

The topic ‘Advice on dealing with a smoker’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors