- 3 years ago
Very newly engaged bee here! (And if you read my last post, rest assured…I am now incredibly excited and happy!) Well it’s all starting to sink in, and I just spent most of the evening talking to my (very excited) parents about the wedding. But here’s the backstory…
My FI (eek!) and I had previously discussed wanting to pay for the wedding exclusively by ourselves and just scaling down as needed. Aside from the financial aspect, FI gets extremely anxious/stressed at weddings (of those he’s close to) because of the fear that something terrible is going to happen and ruin the day. Our wedding would be no exception…I’m afraid he wouldn’t enjoy it at all. So we’ve talked this over extensively and decided that the smallest possible wedding would be best for finances and our happiness.
Well, in come my parents with their ideas of the wedding. When I suggested 100 guests (which is actually much more than I would want), they were astounded and began naming families who just must be there. Okay, some of those guests I do understand. And I do want my parents to be happy. And then my mom was talking about all the things the wedding has to have, such as fabric draping on the ceiling. When I told her how expensive that is, she brushed it off because she’s “paying for it”.
Now, I want my parents to be happy. I am their only daughter and they are clearly excited about the wedding. And please understand that my parents are in no way being controlling or intrusive…simply excited. But obviously there has to be some compromise here. My mom did understand when I explained our reasons for wanting a smaller wedding…so they may be coming around on the guest list. But in terms of them paying for it or parts of it…any advice on how I even broach this subject with my FI? For him, paying for the wedding symbolizes us stepping out as a new family and breaking apart completely from our parents.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Or just have some general advice on how I navigate this situation?