Advice on ending a friendship

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: What should I do?
    Break up with her : (3 votes)
    8 %
    Phase her out : (34 votes)
    92 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3237 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Oh I’ve ended plenty or friendships in my lifetime. I just stop talking to them. There is no real reason you need to say anything about it. Just stop contacting her and she’ll get the point. If she asks whats up, then say something.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2883 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 1998

    I agree with the PP that’s exactly what I would also do. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    5932 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2018

    @alyssaC:  Personally, I would just take a big step back and leave her alone, nothing is gained from a confrontation and it usually only makes things hard on everyone, but if you have things to say to her, and just have to get it off your chest, by all means, give her a piece of your mind, but don’t expect any revelations or apologies for your effort, just the same kinds of things being tossed back at you.

    Post # 6
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @Nona99:  +1

    @alyssaC:  I agree with PP: just quit talking to her. I had a friend “break up” with me once and it was the most awkward thing I’ve ever experienced. We hadnt seen eachother in months and she called me and told me we werent friends anymore.

    Post # 7
    Member
    8282 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’ve also ended quite a few relationships and did it by simply not being in touch anymore. Confrontations are not necessary. Eventually she’ll get the hint. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2108 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @alyssaC:  I have ended a couple of close friendships before, and I just told it straight. It SUCKED, and it took time for me to finally say something, but I had a “break up” talk because I thought it would be unfair to them (and a cop-out) if I just let the relationship fizzle out. Plus, it allowed me to have closure (esp. since I felt as if Damocles’ sword was hanging over my head until I finally did it). 

    Since I would want the courtesy of having someone be straightforward with me, I at least wanted to extend them that same consideration. 

    *I also want to add that I ended the friendships because I felt they were unhealthy—not because they had done something violent, horrible, unforgivable, etc.

    Post # 9
    Member
    4413 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @badabing88:  agreed — I had a friend “break up” with me after she moved away and our lives moved in different directions. I was like, why are we even having this conversation? This is pointless and uncomfortable. We both already knew we weren’t friends anymore.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4576 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @iarebridezilla:  Exactly. She was going on about how she never hears from me….and I never heard from her! I guess I’m just not super attached to people. When she “dumped” me, I was like “did you think this would upset me?” Same with a friend who stopped talking to me because I couldnt make her 3 bachelorette parties. BIG loss.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5017 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I would honestly just phase her out slowly. I did this recently to a friend of mine. I just decided that I couldn’t put up with her drama, lies and nonsense anymore – so I basically just stopped talking to her. I haven’t seen her since January, but I did tell her when I got engaged in April to avoid drama. She sent me a “OMG! SO HAPPY!” text and told me that she misses her “best friend” and that we have to hang out soon. That just proved to me how fake and phony she is.. I haven’t spoken to you in 5 months and you still think I’m your best friend? You’d have to be an idiot to think that. I haven’t spoken to her since, and won’t be inviting her to the wedding. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    11379 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @alyssaC:  i just would stop contacting her.  you say that it’s all one sided anyways so she probably won’t even notice.

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