Advice on how to avoid stress when TTC

posted 3 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
291 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I am over 35 and I relieve my stress by working out. This may not work for you but I also tell myself when I get stressed out not to worry and if we have a baby it will be great but if we do not have a baby, we will have a wonderful life too.

Post # 4
Member
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@phoebephoebo: Definitely, DEFINITELY exercise. Even 20 minutes on the elliptical helps so much!!

I have heard many great things about accupuncture but have never done it myself. 

Stay busy, try not to think about it too much!! Best of luck!!!

Post # 7
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I completely understand the pressure we put on ourselves for something we actually have so little control over. A friend of my mom’s does acupuncture and she has helped many couples get pregnant, so I say go for it!

What it took for me to get pregnant was several months of doing what I thought would help, which turned into some weird trial/error of giving up meat, sweets, alcohol, working out more, drinking green tea like water, taking fish oil, temping daily and being obsessed with CM, and researching the holy heck out of it. Finally, I went to a chinese herbalist who told me to back off of everything I was doing and try moderation. She gave me a diet to follow that was a combination of alkaline and high fat/sugar to “make my egg healthier and live longer”, told me cut my exercise in half (in both intesity and frequency) and rest more, and gave me an awful tea to drink. It worked, that month I got my BFP. I really don’t know if it was the tea, diet and lifestyle advise that worked or finally having someone just tell me what to do which allowed me to relax even a smidge, but I don’t care. Try alternative medicine, the LEAST it will do is relax you, which is probably very needed.

Post # 9
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

You are right! I’m a control freak and really thought if I just figured out the magic combination for my body, it will work. The amount of pressure I put on myself was incredible and looking back, it didn’t help. I’m not a fan of saying “just relax” because I don’t think that works alone, but anything you can do to help your body relax, like acupuncture, massage, exercise and eating healthy, is at least going to make you a happier person. Enjoy the acupuncture and don’t let your doctor freak you out about anything (hint: most of the fertility studies about concieving after 35 are flawed, there is no universal magic number).

Post # 11
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@phoebephoebo:  I’m current 17 weeks along. Prior to TTC I was on Paraguard birth control, which is a non-hormonal IUD. We removed it early January, about a week before I ovulated, I got a BFP in late May. The stress and changes I was making actually made my cycle longer, it went from 31 days long to over 38 days in the course of 4 months. By the time I got to the Chinese doctor, I’m sure I was ovulating, but I don’t think the egg was viable. The Chinese doctor told me to gain a few pounds and focus on sitting around and doing nothing (not even vacuum). Because my OB just told me to try to BD every day or every other day and that was it, I was so greatful that someone finally just gave me a thorough plan of what exactly to eat, drink and do. My stress immediately went down, I gained 3 good pounds (good as in real, not bloat), started knitting to relax, and finally gave into my DH to get a cleaning service.

I’m a type A personality and perfectionist, so prior to the Chinese doctor, I was driving myself mad on a daily basis doing researching and trying new things. Each BFN was greeted with sobs and a feeling of failure, which were internalized because I didn’t want DH to see me like that and intervene (or worse, say we shouldn’t TTC because it was too stressful on me). In reality, I was one of the lucky ones who only took 5 months to get pregnant, but it was one of the more stressful 5 months of my life.

When I think of what I went through, it really kills me to know that others are probably feeling the same stress I was feeling. I just want to give you a big hug and tell you everything will be OK, you are on the right track, and there is nothing wrong with you or your DH-concieving just takes time and luck.

Post # 13
Member
1286 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@phoebephoebo:  I’m happy to help. Just take things slow with the exercise and focus on making a healthy egg. Eggs need some fat, so don’t give it up. Treat yourself well and indulge when the mood strikes. It is so hard to go easy on yourself right now, but you really do need to cut yourself some slack. During my second cycle I waited too long and saw an evap line I was sure was a BFP, it was devastating. Feel free to PM me with anything (vents and cuss words included, I’ve been there and probably said worse).
Take care of yourself!

Post # 14
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@phoebephoebo:  Hello there! thought I’d reply as I just started my 8 month ttc and I’m 34… you know, I think all we can do is try, but we are only human so we can’t be too hard on ourselves when we do find ourselves stressing out. I didn’t read all the responses but I too find that exercising helps. I also try as much as I can get myself  busy and plan thigns like trips, or work around the house – just to getmy mind off of things. I also try to surround myself with people that will make me happy rather than those that will stress me out more.

But sometimes I just get down.. it’s part of the process… I started acupuncture too last cycle and I feel like it helped me relax. Also, I have a short LP and I don’t know if it was acupuncture of progesterone cream (or both) but my LP was 3 days longer!

Finally; since I joined the 6+ month board (which at first I didn’t want to bc I didn’t want to admit to myself it would take me more than 6 months), I’ve felt much better with an AMAZING support network with amazing positive ladies 🙂

Post # 15
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@phoebephoebo:  Oh also, just wanted to say ; hang in there! No matter what you think, you’re doine amazing!

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