@Itsallcomingtogether: well thats the thing I think its a combo of emotions… she was happy and excited about the engagement, but when it finally HIT her holy crap, my brother is moving on in life its hard. For him family “leaving” and “moving on” is really difficult because of how italians are (very very close, the mama’s dont want them an arms length away etc…) and its kind of like they feel like he’s not going to be a part of their lives anymore??? or in the same way?? and it kinda makes them sad.
Before me, his mom and sister were the main women/most important in his life, and now obviously thats not the case, so as happy as they are, its also “jealously”… not in a weird incestuous way lol.. but …. I dunno how to explain it.
also theres the fact that the dress isnt HER first choice and I’ll be honest shes a bit of a princess….
As for the BM thing, ya I wish everyone would have waited until we freakin asked… even some of his buddies were making assumptions and it was really awkward because he has a HUGE group of guys and just couldnt have them all…. :s FI sister just kept jumping the gun and screwed herself out of being “asked”….
I do believe its the blood talk to blood because when its YOU… YOU become the evil witch who took my son/brother away and now________….but when it actually comes from their brother/son its like oh crap…. he actually feels this way….this isnt just “her”.
They ended up talking about it because they were just chatting… and FI brought up us moving to a new house (trigger 1 because we wont be living 2 min away anymore), and then they started talking about random wedding stuff because I had emailed all the BM that week as a reminder we’d be ordering dresses in Feb, so if you care go try it on lol…. and I guess she just blurted out: “so…. I dont know what to think about this BM thing because theres a lot of us (6), and I dont know if I was just asked out of obligation, bcecause she never really actually asked me….”. FI was like huh? and then she kinda broke down, and just exploded in emotions, and FI was like dont be ridiculous, but the truth???? yes she was a little irritaed you kinda just DUBBED yourself a BM bfr she could ask you and apparently you kinda sabotaged the other time she was going to… but she was going to ask….
anywho, not long after we were at the IL’s house for dinner and to her face I said, OK DRESS SHOPPING ASAP… and she kinda laughed and looked the other way….. so…. at this point pardon me, but I really dont give a flying ducks arse. If she wants to continue to ignore everything in regards to the wedding (oh if I txt her randomly NWR she replies asap….wedding related she looses her phone), but ya if she continues to ignore it, I’m going to get FI to deal with it, and if she orders the dress fine, if she doesnt she can sit with her bloody parents because Im done with her highschool bullshit.
My advice would be to get your FI to talk to her one day just casually like I dont know if they see eachother or talk regularly, but see if they can meet for lunch or something, talk about normal stuff and then get him to start talking about random wedding things, and say oh ya…so I’ve kinda noticed your not really taking an interest, is something going on/are you upset? I’ve been asking______how plans are coming along and she said shes been having a hard time getting reponses from all the girls including you.