Advice on how to honor a would-be best man who passed away before the wedding

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2400 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@ecstaticfuturebride:  Anyway you could incorporate a ribbon of his favorite color onto the boutinneire (don’t know how to spell lol) and your bouquets?

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

Reserved seat with a rose and an “in memoriam note” in the program.

Post # 5
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m so sorry for your loss.  That is terrible.  There are a lot of things you can do.  Play his favorite song at the reception, write a blurb about him in your program, If he had a fave snack or drink offer it during reception. 

 

Post # 6
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

One of my cousin’s closest friends got married not long after he died. He did not have a best man, and left the spot where he would have stood open. Would you be able to do something like that?

Post # 7
Member
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@arsing89:  I was thining this but soeone needs to sign the certificate.  PLus I also think it would really bring down the whole evning having no BM speech and everyone reflecting on why.

Post # 8
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@figgnewton:  i like this idea. it’s subtle enough that not everyone would know, but i think it’s a great way to have him “be there” with you. it’s less “this guy died” than a note in the program, especially if his death was recent. i’m having an in memoriam thing in my program (if we do programs), but none of the deaths were super recent (two early this year, one last year, and the rest were 10+ years ago)

Post # 9
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

@Atalanta:  You could have another groomsman sign the Certificate and I’ve been to a few weddings with no BM speech.

Post # 10
Member
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I second a PP’s  suggestion about a ribbon in his favorite color. maybe have something embroidered/sewn info your future husbnad’s sleeve? 

Post # 11
Member
999 posts
Busy bee

I’m very sorry to hear about this. 

My brother passed away a month before his 22nd, 2 months before our wedding, and we had a lantern with a candle burning for him on the signing table with what would have been his boutonnière beside it. I also pinned a locket with his picture to my bouquet. (If the best man was closer with your fiancé, you could pin a locket to his boutonnière.)

Not sure if those appeal to you, but they were meaningful for us.

Very difficult thing to deal with – hoping you guys are ok. 

Post # 13
Member
460 posts
Helper bee

Not sure if it is doable or not, but how about altering your flowers to be purple or incorporate one purple flower in each arrangement, as purple is the color ribbon to recognize cancer victims & survivors.

Another idea, if you are so inclined, might be to ask – in lieu of gifts – that donations be made in his honor to cancer research. You could put a nice note about this on your wedding website. 

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