Post # 1
I need some input on a family situation.
My nephew is soon to be marying a woman who has been married twice before and has three children.
She is pregnant now,
People are asking about giving them sowers and I am not sure what to say,
It is my nephews first marriage and first child. Does that make a difference in whether they have baby/wedding showers or not?
Back in the "olden times" we only had showers for the first baby but I have been to several for subsequent babies lately.
She is planning large fancy wedding and wearing yet another white gown.
While I understand it is his first marriage…What is proper nowadays? Are there even any more rules of etiqutte now?
Thanks for any advice/input you can share.
Post # 3
My Emily Post is a little outdated, but I can give you my opinion. I think that your nephew is entitled to the full treatment. He should get his big wedding and bachelor party. In her case, I think she has had enough parties in her honor as the bride. Of course, someone is bound to throw her one, but you shouldn’t feel obligated to attend, but I would if you want to make her feel like a member of the family.
One rule that isn’t really stickly observed any more is the wearing white. Lots of first-time brides don’t wear white, and lots of second (or third) time brides do wear white.
Hope this helps, and welcome to the board!
Post # 4
Yeah, I see where you’re coming from. And white isn’t really observed like it once was.
As for the big wedding and the showers, it probably gets a bit tricky since it involves your nephew, who is a first timer. Is it something that is being thrown around in your family, or her family too? Perhaps people are tring to make her feel like a part of the family. (as for the other comments on showers for second preganancies, in general I don’t like the idea. But this scenario is a bit tricky.)
If people are asking for your input, could you at least trying to tone it down by having a 2 in 1 shower (baby and bridal) since she’s already pregnant????
It kind of sounds like you don’t approve of this girl or feel like somehow she is involved in requesting these showers. You’ll have to decide if you want to be a part of it or not. I feel for you not agreeing with what is going on, but probably not wanting to hurt your nephew. Could you be a part of the day by going, but be true to your feelings of not agreeing with it by spending less money? Perhaps going in with some relatives on a gift? Usually people spend less money that way. Good luck.
Post # 5