Advice on raising libido?

posted 3 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
294 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Hmmm. I actualy find my libido goes down if I don’t have sex often. Due to this- I make sure to have sex with FI regularly because if we go longer than 4-5 days without sex, I feel like we start getting complacent and get lazy. Usually we try to have sex every 3-4 days- so at least 2-3x per week.

Post # 4
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@MrsS_to_be:  I agree with @limekitty. Just keep doing it, and for some reason, it makes you want to do it more. 

Post # 5
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Yep, I’ve found this true as well. I try not to think of sex as something I “don’t want,” and try to focus on the fact that it’s important intimate time with my FI and to remember that once we’re doing it, it feels good!!!

Post # 6
500 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree with PPs, doing it more makes you want it more. I had the same problem while on the BCP. It really didn’t get “better” until I got off, but I do know that there are few herbs that are supposed to “help” increase sex drive. I know that when I drink ginger tea…it’s on. So maybe look into those things as well?

Post # 7
1016 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014


Post # 7
50 posts
Worker bee

MrsS_to_be:  Hi there, I know this is a bit old, but did you find the nuvaring was a cause of your low libido? I am on the Nuvaring and feel like it has killed my sex drive. 

Post # 8
4827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

I experienced the exact same thing with the Nuva ring. A major bummer. I unfortunately do not have any suggestions; I guess having it more often does keep you interested.

Here’s what I’ve found does NOT increase your libido: trying to make a baby.




Post # 9
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

MrsS_to_be:  I think that sex begets sex.  When you two do have sex, do you ever find that you start off uninterested and end up happy that you did it?  When your libido is low I would consider scheduling sex so that you can get back in the swing of things.  It may help.

Also, with a low libido I think that lube is a must (if you are not already using it). 

Have you tried increasing exercise?  It’s good for your hormones – or something, IDK.

Is the problem that the sex you are having isn’t good?  If that’s the case then you two may spend some time trying new things.

Post # 10
1801 posts
Buzzing bee

How are your periods? Erratic, heavy, crampy, etc? When I have an “icky” period for lack of better words, my sex drive goes down. Thank god for my birth control, though! I’m on Sprintec now, have been for several yeaars, and it regualted my flow. My sex drive has been pretty high lately since my cramping has gone down.

There are 2 things that really seem to manage my sex drive the most lately: Cudding and foreplay. The most foreplay we have, it feels like I want to go again sooner than later, or we do it for longer, in more positions, kinkier, etc. The orgasms always feel better too.  And cuddling/laying together at night, or while were on the couch watching tv after dinner with the dog just helps with our overall intamacy….and leads to sex 1/3 of the time.

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