(Closed) Advice on ring situation please!

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mrsbaz:  Sorry but I’m a bit confused.  You don’t like your ring even if it was the “exact” ring you pointed out?

I think you should love your ring no matter what because I’m sure your FI picked out what you pointed out.  Otherwise, you should’ve been honest about wanting a bigger carat from the very beginning.  It’s understandable that your FI is unhappy when you wanted a bigger stone because he intially thought you were happy with it.  I think in the end, you really don’t know what you want because you keep going back and forth between 2 rings.  Sorry to be blunt, but that would annoy me too.

Post # 4
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

You sound like you don’t know what you want at all. You said this is the exact ring you pointed out months ago, but don’t like it now. You got the same ring but bigger diamond, but feel too guilty… You sound like no matter what you do, you won’t be happy. Do you even know what your dream ring is?

I would just stop thinking about all the other rings out there and love the ring that the man who loves you gave you.

Post # 6
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Me & my husband picked my ring out together & I picked out my wedding band & they still mean the same thing wedding rings are suppose to mean to me. Alot of women show their boyfriends/future fiances pictures of rings they like & their boyfriend gets them the one they showed them. & Its not because they didn’t look harder. Its because they knew that ring was the one she wanted & wanted to get her whatever would make her happy. Sounds exactly like what your man did. 🙂

Post # 7
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

I must have looked and dozens of rings in jewellers shops and online,  and i loved them all.   but when it came to trying them on they were not as knock-out as i envisioned them, so i am totally with you on not realising it wasnt ‘the one’.   you pointed it out,  yet you feel it doesnt suit you.   and not being sarcastic to anyone…..but WHY  should you love it?  just because FI  chose it? 

if he needed a new car and went to the garage to buy a new one…..a car he had always dreamed of owning…..would HE be happy with a car you chose for him thats totally different to his dream car?  i tend to think not. 

i know the two are different things,  a E ring is a symbol of love so surely it HAS to be right for the person thats wearing it.  you want to show it off with pride…….and for that you have to be proud of it and 100%  happy with it. 

Post # 9
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

@mrsbaz:

also what you could do is buy an enhancer/halo.   i have seen many of them on Wb  and it makes the ring look bigger whilst keeping the original ring intact

Post # 11
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

@mrsbaz:

i think you could tell him what you want but maybe word it so that he doesnt feel hurt. like tell him you love the ring,  but that you feel it doent suit you because your fingers are too big….not that the ring is too small…..and that its YOUR fault for pointing it out without having tried it on first……and testament to how much you love it is that you wanted to keep the original setting with a larger stone. its not like you wanted a completely different looking ring,  so thats proof how much you wanted it.

He  just might be feeling he did something wrong or that you are not satisfied. you are satisfied with the choice of ring……just not quite big enough. 

i am a size 14 and wear size 14 clothes……not size 10!   LOL

good luck i hope you can sort it out because i dont believe you will be truley happy with it until its sorted .  i think it might have been wiser to have just gone through with the change while you had it ongoing…..he’d have soon forgotten about it…..he’s a man!  🙂

 

 

Post # 12
Member
313 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think it’s also that you are a professional and likely are in a financial echelon with women who have larger rings. I feel the same way. Many of the attorneys that I’ve worked with have larger rings so I knew that when my fiance proposed, it would be best to get a larger carat size. It’s shallow, I know, but with that, I understand. I say keep the ring he proposed with. It has so much sentimentality that no matter what you get will not feel the same, IMO.

With that said, you have some damage control to do with your fiance. If he’s anything like mine, he was so proud of his purchase! It was the biggest moment of his life to buy the engagement ring. I think you may have crushed some of that pride.

You have many options with a solitaire and you get to decide what you want with a band. Consider upgrading later. Maybe get a beautiful right hand ring to subside some of your feelings about it.

Post # 14
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t think you are selfish or wrong in feeling this way. I was glad I had the oppurtunity to shop for the ring with my FI. I initially wanted a 1 ct solitaire, but when I tried it on I *hated* it on my hand! I ended up with a 1.5ct on a pave setting, and I love it.

Talk to your FI again, and try to make him understand why you feel the way you do. Or you can just upgrade it yourself, afterall, you’re the one whose going to be wearing it.

Post # 15
Member
11397 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Also, something I don’t think I seen anyone else add-you could also get two diamond wedding bands, one for each side for extra bling!

Post # 16
Member
14299 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I think you should get the one you love.  It sounds like he just got you the one that you had pointed out yourself, and did not pick it, so I would guess that he just wanted to get you the one you liked.  You said you liked it, so it was a safe choice.  Assuming that is the case, and you have a slight change of heart after the fact, I dont understand why he should be upset about it.  Its not like he picked it out by himself, designed it and what not… he got one you pointed at. 

Unfortunately, he is sensitive about it so I would probably drop it, settle for now, and upgrade for an anniversary down the road.  Its not worth fighting about it now.  My husband gives me a stare that could kill if I even joke about upgrading.  I dont joke about it anymore. 

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