Post # 1
Oh ladies, I’m in a bind. Any thoughts or suggestions would be really helpful.
When my honey and I were first engaged (a year ago), my mom said she she wanted for both my dad and her (they’re still married) to walk me down the aisle. She was a stay at home mom, and because my dad was always at work, she felt like she "raised" my brother and I. Deep down inside, I always wanted my dad to walk me down the aisle. But to avoid hurting her feelings (and in an effort to pick my battles) I said okay.
But when she told my dad this, my dad (who never gets riled up about anything) was super upset! He has mentioned more than once that he was very hurt by the decision and felt like this was one of his "duties" and "honors" as a father.
Now I’m working on our procession line, and I don’t know what to do about this. I realize now that I should have asked my dad what he thought first. Deep down I want him and him alone to walk me down the aisle. But I already told my mother that they could both do it! What should I do?
Post # 3
- Wedding: April 2011 - in the woods
Here’s a suggestion: have your dad walk you down the aisle. Then your mom, who is already in the front, can stand near you as they both "give you away" to your fiance.
Post # 4
that is exactly what happened in my family as well… it has yet to be figured out but each parent reacted like yours!
I have no idea what to do! I felt similar to you as well… I can see both sides and I don’t know which way to go.
Are the aisles wide enough to fit 3 people down? That could solve everything. Right? Could your mother meet you half way down the aisle and join the two of you?
Post # 5
What if you suggested to her that your brother escort her just before you and your dad (unlike the traditional before the wedding party), so she feels a little bit more honored at being placed closer to the bride or whatever during the processional, and then like Jess suggested she and your dad can respond to the giving away question…
Post # 6
I think the suggestions above are good ones, and in the end I think your father should walk you down the aisle (just him, without your mom.) Why? Because it’s what you really want, and it’s what he really wants. If you have your mom join you, your dad will be hurt and you won’t have that moment that you’ve looked forward to all your life. If you don’t have your mom join you, then she will be hurt. Either way, one of them will be hurt so I say go with the route that will cause the least damage and that will make you the happiest. Plus you can try to blame it on skinny aisles or tradition or what have you, if that might make your mom feel better.
Post # 7
Maybe if you make sure that both your mom and dad "give you away" then it won’t matter so much who walks you down the aisle? There were some posts about very sweet ways for both parents to respond, rather than just the father. Or maybe she can respond alone (Her Father and I) rather than the more traditional response from dad (Her Mother and I).
Post # 8
would it be too wierd if you asked your mom to walk you halfway and then it would be just you and your father the last half up to the altar??
Post # 9
i am having both my parents walk me down the aisle. In Judaism it is a given that both your parents have had an important role in raising you, and that both should be included in such an important part of your life! I am having the traditional father/daughter dance, but i couldn’t imagine not having both my parents at my side walking down.