(Closed) Advice on Ways to Honor My Brother at the Wedding

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I’m sorry to hear this. My brother was an avid guitar player and LOVED to play. I always told him i wanted him to play while i walked down the aisle. Well, he was in a car accident about a year before i got married and passed away. So i ended up with an acoustic guitar CD playing instead. Were there any hobbies or things your brother particularly liked?

Post # 4
Member
218 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2006

I have seen this also done with special alter flowers, in a contrasting color with the program message being “the three white roses on the alter are in honor of those who could not be with us today” and the names listed. 

My father died of cancer when I was 20.  When I was born he bought me a dozen red roses ’cause he said a father should be the first man to buy his daughter flowers.  The next man to buy me a dozen red roses was my DH the first time he told me he loved me.  My wedding flowers were all red roses in honor of my Dad, and I put the story of why in the program.

The touches you’ve suggested are very good as well as tying in something he likes with your wedding theme.  Also I know of a girl who had the clergy from the nursing home “marry” her & her FI, complete with tux and gown, in front of a family member (her father) who was not able to attend the ceremony himself.  I don’t know if that is an option with your brother’s situation.

Post # 6
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Could you incorporate something healthy/fitness related into your favor? Did your brother have a favorite cookie or something of that nature and you can include a sweet little tag on the baggie? I feel ya on the out of sight thing….not cool =(

Post # 8
Member
163 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I don’t know if you planned on doing this, but maybe you could incorporate him in a slide show? I have seen people have slideshows at the reception of the bride and groom through the years and you could include pictures of you with your brother, both when you were younger and since his accident.

I know you said you were getting married in a church, but do you have any control over the ceremony? We are including a part in our ceremony remembering loved ones who have passed away and couldn’t be with us at the wedding.

I’m so sorry that your brother won’t be able to be at your wedding, and that people in your family like to act like he doesn’t exist. That sounds so painful.

Post # 9
Member
2538 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Our Moose (baby) died in December and we got engaged in April, which we weren’t going to do until Moose was old enough to participate. The reason I’m saying that is Moose was supposed to be at our wedding just like your brother. To show that we haven’t forgotten, as I feel some have, our baby, we’re having our officiant say a quick thing about how we miss Moose and wish that Moose was there. What about something like that?

I do like everyone’s ideas. I love what both @ejs4y8 and @puppymom2006  did.

Post # 12
Member
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Oh, that would be such a hard situation! Maybe you could visit him for brunch the day of the wedding or perhaps the day after? But as for the wedding, the other bees have wonderful ideas. Did you two ever have any special songs growing up or favorite movies that you could incorporate into the reception? Like my brother and I were always Dopey and Snow White when we were little, and he’s glad that now my prince has come  🙂

Best of luck and lots of love!

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