- 4 years ago
- Wedding: July 2014
Hello soon to be brides. I was where you were earlier this year and last. I stressed about all the details, I agonized over picking the perfect dress, the right colors, the perfect flowers, the most beautiful invitations. I spent a lot of money on getting the exact outdoor rental furniture I had seen on a beautiful blog. I read wedding magazines and websites daily, and bookmarked and pinterested my heart out. I made sure guests knew (in a polite way) that the wedding would be an adults only event because I didn’t want a crying baby or children running around “ruining” my day. I spent a lot of time worrying about who might RSVP then not show up and how angry I’d be about having to pay for their meal and having it go to waste.
I can tell you now all of that meant nothing. Absolutely nothing. My fiance called off the wedding 5 weeks before the big day and basically told me he didn’t love me anymore. He was too much of a coward to say something sooner (you can read the whole post here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/looking-for-support-and-some-help-getting-through-a-broken-engagementbreak-up/#axzz3ATvIBHWF )
What I’m offering is this: If you have a man, your fiance who loves you, wants to marry you and has treated you like gold and would do anything for you, be so appreciative and consider yourself wildly lucky. Because buying all the most expensive flowers, and centerpieces, and having the prettiest cake or best chair covers in the world won’t change that relationship. I would have done anything or gotten rid of all those beautiful decorations I bought if it meant I could marry the man I loved and have him love me back and want to marry me too. I would allow every screaming baby in the world to be at that ceremony and be ok with 10 people not showing up and having to pay for them anyway if it meant I could marry the man I love. After your big day, which is really just a party to your guests, you have to go home and live with your husband now and be married. Your guests aren’t part of your marriage. Just you and him. So look at this way… if a guest doesn’t show up, the best man drinks too much, there’s a mix up with the florist, someone forgot the cake topper, you couldn’t get the perfect twinkle lights or the DJ plays a song you didn’t want- it all won’t affect your marriage or change the fact that your fiance WANTS to marry and be with you forever. Isn’t that what you really want? A wedding may only last 7 or 8 hours but hopefully your marriage lasts a lifetime