advice please

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

jennmc85:  Why the hell are you even doing a bridesmaids dance?  Her expectations are ridiculous.

Post # 3
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

jennmc85:  I don’t even know what to say…Ummmmm,  yes I do. The bridesmaid that sent the fb message is a Bitch, and it reads like she enjoyed every MEAN moment of it…cause damn dogs could never require the same needs as kids, and it does sound like the email was for you…sorry! The bride should have been woman enough to tell you to your face how she felt instead of having her immature bridesmaid sending you a message through fb. This is the very reason why I don’t have a bridal party it generates too much bs. If being in her wedding is too draining on you n your family; perhaps,  you shouldn’t be in her wedding. Sounds like she doesn’t want to make allowances for your situation. 

Post # 4
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

why is she having a bridesmaids dance- i think that is the stupidest request i have heard in a long time– if you want a full on show- make your husband practice with you….

i think i would bow out of the wedding- bridesmaids are to show up in the dress the bride picks the day of the wedding. how long have you two been friends>?

Post # 7
Member
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

crazy, two dresses, plus im guessing hair and make up and dance and bachlorette and bridal shower and probably a million other things she needs help doing— when do you say enough?? you have husband, kids and jobs and other responsibilties that will suffer because of her “ONE DAY”  if you and the rest of the girls dont speak up…

Post # 8
Member
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I’m a firm believer in that when someone is your bridesmaid, that doesn’t make them your slave. I picked my braidsmaids, because they are all girls I love and want to share the day with. If they want to help out with stuff, that’s great, if not, it’s not their wedding, I understand.  2 nights a week is not reasonable, regardless of your reasons for being busy, 1/week is unreasonable to me.  You shouldn’t be made to feel bad about this.

Post # 9
Member
588 posts
Busy bee

I hate to say it but Bitch. Crazy. Two dresses and a BM dance that requires *hours* of practice a week for months??? That’s ridiculous! I’m sorry, but this bride – and her cousin – are out of touch. Who on earth has the time for something like this? 

Post # 11
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

jennmc85:  I think it’s time to put a stop to the madness – either drop out of the wedding or say that you won’t be doing the dance. It is BEYOND unreasonable to expect grown women to drop their entire lives for a stupid dance. I refused to do a bridesmaid dance and we didn’t even have compulsory practises!

Post # 12
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

If they won’t let up about the dance (which is ridiculous to expect so much of your time) then you should bow out. Say to the bride ‘I wanted to stay in your bridal party because your friendship means so much to me, and I wanted to be there for you, support you and stand up with you on your special day. But I am finding that the expectations regarding the dance are too much, so I feel I am unable to meet your requirements for bridesmaid any longer. I would love to still attend, as a guest.’

Post # 13
Member
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I would say you should tell her you are willing to do ONE rehearsal a week, and that if the dance cannot be learned with that level of commitment, it should be simplified. The best way to learn a dance, anyway, is to spend some time on your own so you know all your moves. I think the bride is panicking because her dance is too complicated, and it sounds like she is not experienced and just got ideas from Youtube (an experienced dancer would be better at rehearsing and would also design something appropriate for her non-dancer friends). 

Honestly, a dance well done on the beat with a few moves that are repeated is better than a dance with 20 moves that is haphazard. You are completely in your rights to quit either the dance or wedding party, but I think you don’t have to. Don’t get in a fight with her regarding dogs v. kids. If she is balking at you using your kids as an excuse, then stop making excuses. You do not NEED an excuse to “only” rehearse once a week. I have no dogs, no kids, and no evening activities and I wouldn’t be willing to rehearse twice a week! Just keep telling her, “I am willing to rehearse once a week, and with the 10 more rehearsals we’ll have before your wedding, we’ll be fine. If not, the dance should be simplified to what we can do well.” 

Post # 14
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Uh, that is utterly ridiculous. The bride is being ridiculous and so is the cousin.  You have your own LIFE with your own responsibiliites (kids, family, etc) and you cannot be expected to put that aside constantly for the bride’s wedding planning stuff or a stupid bridesmaid dance.  

And shelling out money for a SECOND dress??  W.T.F.  No, just no.   

I would honestly step down…you shouldn’t be made to feel bad that you can’t make ridiculous practices because you have kids.  If you really don’t want to step down, then just tell her that perhaps it would best if you sat out the bridesmaid dance, as you really want to be there for her, but can’t make the extra practices nor can afford a 2nd dress.  

And WTF is with a special bridesmaid dance??  I can’t even.  

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors