Advice please

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 4
Member
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

dpslh913059487:  I obviously only know what you post on here but my opinion: STOP planning this wedding. 2nd chances lead to 3 & 4 etc etc. You are young… slow down. This guy doesn’t seem interested in planning a future with you & he isn’t going to change. You & your son deserve better & when you drop the extra baggage (him) and live for you and your son and giving him the best future – great things will follow.  

MOVE ON.

Post # 5
Member
3693 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

He’s a loser. You and your child deserve better.

Post # 6
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t marry him. He clearly doesn’t want to get married – and not paying his taxes? Really?

Post # 7
Member
2455 posts
Buzzing bee

Seriously, do you want to marry him or do you just want a wedding?

Post # 8
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you cannot afford to get married (back tax money, other debt, no job and neither one of you is saving money) then you shouldn’t be planning a big wedding (or even a small one).  Get married at the courthouse for $70 and call it done.  Spending money you don’t have on a wedding is just asinine.  

On that note, marrying a guy who owes back taxes, but doesn’t want to pay it??  A big no-no.  His debt will become your debt, and you’ll have to deal with it too.   Why are you marrying someone who doesn’t want to pay his taxes and doesn’t save his money for the future? How will he ever be able to provide for you, your child, his future children, etc??  

This guy is a loser, but you’ve been told that before.   Why are you so desperate to get married to him??  What does he have that you’re not disclosing??  

 

Post # 9
Member
957 posts
Busy bee

Your posts are very hard to read. But from what I’ve read on both your posts… it seems like this guy doesn’t care at all. You’re young, there’s no rush to get married. 

There are red flags all over the place. CANCEL the wedding and wait to set a date once your FI is ready. In your other post I think you said he didn’t feel ready, yet you have a date set and your hoping he’ll change his mind by then?

Please. Think of your child and don’t go through with this. If you rush into marriage and it doesn’t work out, it’s going to be tough on your child as well. 

Post # 10
Member
808 posts
Busy bee

Marrying this guy is, to put it mildly, a bad idea. Don’t do it.

Post # 11
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

cdpslh913059487:  

“sorry this probably doesn’t make much since”

Ummm….yeah. You posted this twice…today…about an hour apart.

I think you need to ditch this guy, focus on yourself and your kid, get a little education, and stop worrying about a wedding that is, frankly, a really bad idea.

I’ve read your past post, and this relationship is a total train wreck.

Post # 12
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

I just cannot understand a mindset that is talking about spending hundreds of dollars on flowers that will die in a day when you’re an unemployed, single mom living at her parents house and marrying a guy with sporadic employment.

Please stop focusing on your princess party and get your priorities straight. You do not need to be getting married right now. You need to get yourself and your life together first. Figure out how to stand on your own two feet. Then you can think about adding someone else to the equation. Preferably a someone who can also stand on their own two feet.

In any case, you are not in a position to spend money you don’t have on dying plants and glitter shoes, no matter how much they *costed*.

Post # 13
Member
876 posts
Busy bee

Ugh. Reading your posts, you’ve been with this guy for maybe 10 months, got engaged to him after 2 months, there are already issues which you just blow right past with *im trying to give him another chance but I feel like is be paying for everything and that’s not right.and so much more*.

You’re only 19. the pretty princess wedding is not the end all and be all. You are way too focused on that. Life isn’t about cake-toppers and glitter shoes and spending thousands of dollars in one day. It’s about food, clothing and shelter first and foremost. Once you have those absolute bottom-line basic necessities on lock-down for an extended period of time, then you can start looking toward the luxeries in life, like amora gem rings and $200 bridesmad dresses. Or investing in some education or something.

Please just stop this. You are heading for disaster here. It is plain as day to any observer that you have got it all wrong here and you need to pull back and re-think your life priorities now before it’s too late.

Post # 14
Member
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

OP, you’re 19 years old, already have a child, and have been engaged twice. Pull yourself together, FFS. 

This man not only does not want to marry you and be a father to your child, he can in no way support you or your child. I don’t know what you’re looking for here, but this wedding and relationship are a total and complete train wreck.

Dig deep, find some self respect, learn how to take care of yourself without some deadbeat dude, and try maybe putting the needs of your child (stability, support, love) ahead of your desire to have a freaking pretty princess wedding. 

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