- 7 years ago
- Wedding: January 2013
First of all…I apologize for the length of this, but I am going through some rough patches and need some advice. I am only 21 years old, as is my fiance. We have been engaged since February, and before that we had been dating since August 2010. we have went to school together, were always friends in school, and then re-connected about 3 yrs after high school and went from there. My problem is, I just dont know if this is the right thing or not. for starters, John is a jealous guy, for instance there was a concert lately, and it was one of my favorite bands. One of my OTHER guy friends (I think John knew I used to have a crush on him, Im not sure though) posted a comment on my facebook page saying “Hey, you going to that concert?” (the old friend and I have always loved this band, and the old friend is in college 3-4 hrs away, and we never talk.) well John saw it, and started giving me greif about it. He decided he wanted to go too. John a)HATES ths band, b)had to work that night, so I told him that’d be stupid. He says “I want to like what you like”, but I know that he just wanted to be there in case my old friend was there. He was going to pay 25 dollars, miss work, just to go “keep an eye on me” so to speak. Money is tight for John right now, old friend lived 3-4hrs away and he likely wouldnt be there, so I told him to stay.That brought up fights for a MONTH, so I decided I wasnt gonna go. anyway….Laura, my best friend, texted me the night before the show and was like “I got an extra ticket, PLEASE come!” b/c we never see each other b/c of our hectic schedules. so I decided “why not?” b/c I NEVER see her, I love the band, and the ticket was free for her (she was w/the event, and I would have had to pay 25.00 for my ticket) so that caused a huge fight, but I brushed it off and went to the show. we got there and Laura’s boyfriend was there, and when John asked me who all was there, I told him that Marcus, Laura’s bf, was there too and John FLIPPED. said things like “I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A GIRLS NIGHT, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE STABBED IN THE BACK?!?!” “I WANTED TO GO AND YOU WOULDNT LET ME, BUT LAURA LET HER BOYFRIEND GO!” blah blah blah. anyway….old guy friend didnt even show (he had texted me once or twice asking if I was going, but I didnt respond back b/c John doesnt like for me to talk to other guys.) that’s not even the worst of it… we fight all the time. He says all the time “you dont love me like I love you”….he is a very sensitive guy, and I am not as sensitive as he is. He doesnt forgive easily, and I want to forgive and forget, and move past things. I am his first girlfriend, his first EVERYTHING. I was the first person he did ANYTHING with, besides kiss. That has put us at a disadvantage I think, because he dotes on the fact that I have been w/other guys, etc. We are just always arguing about SOMETHING, and I dont really need the drama because I am in school and can’t focus all of my time and attention on him. he isn’t in school, he just works, so he has a lot more free time than I do. He gets upset when I cant do things, for example, I had finals this week….I told him FRIDAY NIGHT we could do something Satur DAY so I could spend Sat night at home studying, he said okay. We met up at like 12 on saturday and spent ALLLL day doing things for our Mothers b/c of Mom’s Day,and so Saturday around 7:30 (a whole 7 1/2 hours!) I told him I needed to get home. He proceeded to roll his eyes and complain that I “never make time for him”….I am just at a loss. I know if I told him I didnt want to marry him, he would be DEVASTATED. Truth be told, I dont even know if I want to now. He is so sensitive, everything I do or say hurts his feelings somehow, and he ALWAYS is thinking about something and wants to have a talk. I can’t live like this, and Im afraid that if we get married, things wont change. What do you think? I am thinking of asking him for a break, and just resting and being by myself for a little while.