Advice Please – Avoiding disappointment/how to stop being crazy

posted 2 years ago in Waiting
Post # 2
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I agree with your 99.9%. He’s not going to propose on this trip. Two reasons: You arranged the trip for his birthday. He said that the two of you cannot afford a wedding. Enjoy it without all the anxiety.

Honestly, if you both are not in debt and have good jobs, then he’s either trying to throw you off or he’s just not ready for marriage. If he doesn’t like his job or feels that he’s not paid enough, or if the two of you are struggling at the moment, then he may mean exactly what he says about finances and marriage.

 

Post # 3
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I think 4.5 years is long enough.  I would be going crazy.  My SO and I have been together 2.5 years. I know the engagement ring has been in my house for 2 weeks and I am in pins and needles.  No way would I make it another 2 years without a commitment.

Post # 4
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

“He teased back and said I was like a dog with a bone”

I’d take this light-hearted comment as a gentle warning that he’s really not ready to propose right now. Also, do you really want a proposal that arises from pressure rather than genuine readiness? You’ve had sensible discussions with him and right now he’s not hurrying towards engagement. Clearly this is something you’ll have to tackle at some point if marriage becomes a more important goal than just sustaining the relationship but you may not have reached this point yet. 

So go with your 99.9%. He isn’t going to propose on this trip so honestly, just get on with enjoying your holiday and don’t allow that 0.01% of anticipation to spoil what should be a great time. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 4 months ago by  .
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