(Closed) advice please – family friend offered to do hair/makeup

posted 8 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
1566 posts
Bumble bee

Could you say you have someone already? I agree it would be very awkward to say no once you’ve let her do a trial 

Post # 4
1570 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I agree it would feel very awkward to tell her you don’t like her style after you’ve let her do a trial. You might just feel too pressured to say it at all, and you don’t want to go into your wedding day feeling less than confident about your appearance. Girlwitharing has a good idea in just telling her you already have someone.

Post # 5
2083 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree… that would be extremely awkward. Even if you don’t have anyone else already you could say that you already had your heart set on using a certain salon that you really like.

Post # 7
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

My friend had her regular hairstylist do her hair and a good friend of her stylist her make up trail.  At the end of the trail she wasn’t very happy with it – she also felt awkward at the time to say anything.  After the fact she called back and said her Fiance didn’t like the look and wanted her to look more natural – they did a redo and it turned out beautifully.

If you went to your trail with a lot of pictures of hair and make up that you liked and had her follow that rather than do her own style it might work out.  I understand your feeling to want to try her out I would be the same.

If it turns out totally terrible you could do a little white lie (if you feel comfortable with it) and say your bm’s have already booked you something as a gift to you and you didn’t know about it until you told them about her services.

Good luck with whatever you choose!

Post # 8
1243 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think that you could look at this two ways.  First, if she’s going to be a hairstylist, she’s going to have to get used to people saying “I don’t really like it” on a fairly regular basis.  So, you could be of the camp that says “Hey, I’m going to try her out, and if I don’t like it, I’m going to say so (nicely, of course)”.  If all things were fair, she won’t be hurt and will just try again to make you happy.  The second way of looking at it is that you don’t want to work with a family friend where there will be emotional baggage if you don’t like what she does.  In that case, I would tell her that you’ve already found someone to do your hair/makeup.  

I’d be inclined to let her try.  A hair/makeup trial is exactly that; a trial.  You’re there to perfect the look you want.  Bring lots of photos, like Pammyd says, and try and see if you’re both on the same page.  If it works out, you’ve saved money and given someone some professional experience.  🙂

Post # 9
34 posts
  • Wedding: September 2011

If you don’t like what you’ve seen, chances are you’re probably not going to like your makeup trial and if you don’t use her she will be very hurt.

Is she waiting for an answer? If not, don’t bring it up again. Just get your trial somewhere else and when you see her, you can truthfully say that you already had someone in mind. You can add that you want her to enjoy the wedding instead of having to work.

Post # 10
7975 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

If you DO end up going with her, just bring LOTS of photos of what you want – a more natural look – and explain that you’re going for something ‘simple’ ‘understated’ ‘not as fancy’ etc. and talk her down before she gets started.

Post # 11
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

  As a hairstylist we HATE it when people arent honest with us!!!!! Be VERY direct and tell her exactly what you want!!!!!! I’m actually not letting anyone that I know who is a also a hairstylist to my hair. I’m going to a very up scale salon and telling them exactly whats gonna happen with my hair. It might sound blunt but if your a hairstylist you need that personality.

  Dont be afraid. Shes probably already used to it by now and if you really dont want her to do it then just say, “Hey I think I’m gonna pay big money for this but thank you and I would love if you did my hair after my wedding” She should understand!!!

Post # 12
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

hello~ I think what you said here is key:

“The thing is, she is inexperienced and the few samples I’ve seen aren’t exactly my style…the makeup looked way too heavy and the hairstyles were way too elaborate. 

I don’t like it and don’t want to use her, it’ll be very awkward for me to tell her “no thanks.” At the same time, I’ll probably get good pricing from her if I do end up wanting to use her”

If her work is NOT your style and you don’t feel confident because she is inexperienced, then don’t risk it because of your other relationships – she will understand because it’s your wedding day, and vendors generally understand it if the reason y you didn’t pick them was your personal taste. 

I’m a MUA, and my own mother-in-law didn’t ask me to do her makeup for my brother-in-law’s wedding~ lol~ it’s really a special day and she wants to spend it with her husband, son and new daughter-in-law at the salon together~ 🙂 whatever it is, she and your family friends will understand!

The other thing is, if she is offering you a discount that also means she might not get paid at her rates because of inexperience.

An olive branch would be to have her do your mother-in-law to be, at their house. But I’m just throwing it out there…!

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