Post # 1
Any of y’all have any hiccups getting used to your SO’s housekeeping styles?
My FI and I have been living together for a few months and I’m starting to feel like I’m on permanent dish duty. Laundry? Did it. Dishwashing? Yep, that one, too. Cooking? Uh, huh.
How do y’all divide the work load in your houses? I’m starting to think we should post a chore chart (yes, the kind parents use on their 7-year-old children) somewhere in our house to record who’s doing what… maybe even devise a point system for each task and the person with the most at the end of the month gets something fun. (I’m fairly certain that a marriage counselor would be very much opposed to this idea, but…. what do they know?)
Have y’all figured out any secrets to streamlining the everyday things?
Post # 3
weve been living together going on 2 years now and i still do all the cooking and cleaning. he swears that he wil do all the yard stuff – but WE LIVE IN AN APT! lol
great idea with the chore chart. I am thinking of assigning him certain tasks to do like (clean bathroom on every third tuesday…) and i have finally gotten him to do the laundry.
Post # 4
My husband is pretty self-sufficient. He does his own laundry. And actually never wants me to do it for him! Occasionally I will move it from washer to dryer, or dryer to basket, but that’s it. As for cleaning, we clean every weekend, together. He’s neater than I am, and I really hate cleaning sometimes, but we do it together. I do most of the cooking, but while I make dinner, he’s doing his second job, so it evens out. And he always does dinner clean-up. And we both pick up after ourselves for the most part. I occasionally don’t put my shoes in my closet, and he sometimes leaves his water glass out over night. So I guess our arrangement is pick up after yourself, and clean together on the weekends!
Post # 5
I typically do most of the chores but my FI is working an avg. of 75hrs a week. I am a Teacher and off during the summer, so right now I do not mind. We have agreed to share the duties when we are both working. I think it all boils down to communication. If you feel overwhelmed then talk to your FI about it… I have and he helped out a lot more. Personally, my FI would flip if I posted a chore chart and I would feel a bit offended if he suggested one to me. To be honest, those were made for children so they could remember and see their progress. Since your FI and you are adults it seems like you could come to an agreement without making a chart. For example, maybe you could agree to do the dishes every other day.
Post # 6
divying up chores–yes.
point system–um, no.
Another alternative is just a “clean up after yourself” policy. Especially with dishes and kitchen stuff.
Post # 7
🙂 I know the chore chart sounds like an absolutely ridiculous/dysfunctional idea, but my fiance and I have been together for 8 years and are extremely playful and competitive… so having it wouldn’t be about treating either like a toddler, it would be a competition of sorts. (maybe you would just have to know us to understand… we’re abnormal.)
I should’ve also mentioned that I am self employed, so I work from home, which puts a lot more of the daily burden on me, as it is.
Post # 8
When this came up in my relationship, someone advised me to pick up a copy of “Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” by John Gottman. Both of you can work through the section that discusses who does what in your relationship. It was eye opening for my SO to see how much I did for him ‘behind the scenes’ such as being the bill payer, picking up the mail daily and sorting it, little tasks that have to get done but aren’t visually SEEN.
Post # 9
I typically handle laundry, vacuuming, cooking, and at least 1/2 the dishes. Based on my schedule and his, this works for us.
I absolutely do not do bath tubs. I don’t know why, but I can never figure out where to start. DH knows this and scrubs the bathrooms.
I know a lot of married couples have a rule of thumb where if you don’t cook dinner then you do the dishes. Maybe something as simple as that could work for you.
The chore list seems to be kind of rigid, but maybe you need that in your house. Definitely do what works for you.
Post # 10
OH gosh i just have to comment I thought this said, “wife wh*re chart” and i was all WTF is wrong with your husband?!?!??!?! lol. my bad.
Lists aren’t a bad thing–it can help remind you what to do and when! DH likes things done a specific way and I don’t keep up to par. Some things are “his” jobs and some are “mine”. So far it works
Post # 11
I actually like your idea of a chore chart and don’t feel that these are just for children. I think it helps to see things written down! I think it’s a great idea if you both are up for it and I think the point system is awesome. Anything to make cleaning fun in my book! We actually talked about doing this last year, but never followed through with the idea. We were going to have weekly contests and the winner got a 20 min. massage. I think it sounds like fun!
Post # 12
Our house is divided into an incredibly sexist system of “boy” jobs and “girl” jobs. I created this system. I do laundry, cook dinner and make the bed. He cleans the litter box, does the dishes and takes out the trash.
Post # 13
You sound just like me! I keep threatening this. As long as he does the laundry and walks the dog everyday I’m usually okay with him slacking on everything else as long as he picks up after himself in general. I think it’s easier for me to do stuff like the dishes because I can’t stand they way he loads the dishwasher (same reason he does the laundry–he can’t stand the way I fold things). It’s when he doesn’t do the two or three things he is responsible for that I freak out and threaten to hire a maid and pay them out of his personal bank account.
Post # 14
His jobs: Taking out the trash, making sure his dirty clothes make it into the hamper.
My jobs: Cook and clean up after it.
Honestly we have a cleaning lady that does the rest and we love her for it!
Post # 15
We’ve been living together or over 2 years and we’ve just kind of figured out who does what. For example: I hate to clean the tub and vacumn so 99% of the time FI does that. I usually clean the sinks. He cooks most of the time. Then we just do whatever needs to be done. For example: I’m home during the summer so I do most of the errands that need to be done, wash the sheets, etc.
Post # 16
J is way cleaner than me, so we’re kind of in reverse. Kind of, because I still do most of the cleaning.
For us, we’ve found simply asking each other has worked – like after dinner if I say, “hey would you do the dishes?” he’ll get up and do them, no questions or complaints.
But … J is awesome and (in my experience) not the typical guy when it comes to housework.