Post # 1
Ok so recently my MIL has been finding everything wrong with me. My SIL called her and said I was saying all this stuff about her, and blew it way out of proportion when all I had said was “Mr and I are looking for an apartment” She went and told my MIL that I said I couldn’t stand being in her house, hated cleaning, and all that. Uhm, HELLO!! When we get our own place, I’m gonna have to clean so obviously that’s not a problem.
*This will kinda jump all over so bear with me*
The other day while I was at work, she told the fiance I was leaving early for work, and coming home late.. Yeah I came home late one time cause they asked me to stay overtime.. But I called and told my MIL and my FI! And so then there was a big blowout between my FI and I about my work and he almost broke up with me cause of his mom. He even sent his mom a text saying “You won, I hope you’re happy” but then when I came home cause the FI and I had worked it out, she looked at me and said, “You better go sit down, you have a big a** chewing coming your way” What am I, two? I’m not even her kid and she yells at me like I am! And she pretty much said that I’m 18, dumb, and that she couldn’t be a normal 18 year old cause she had a kid.. ok, I didn’t open my legs, she did! So all the sudden I’m supposed to act like she had to when she was 18? Haha. Funny. She even smacks me with the newspaper she smacks her dogs with, degrading, I know! So she gets done chewing me out and then proceeds to say “If I ever find out you’re cheating on ‘MR’ I will tell him and you wont even know about it” uhm, ok? I’m not gonna cheat on the best thing in my life, nor on anyone at that.
Idk what her problem is and why she hates me.. Although she hates anyone who interferes with her hubby and son. I mean, her son is gonna get married if she likes it or not. She can’t keep chasing his women away.
Is there anything I can do to make her stop being this way? I’ve tried doing nice stuff for her, people even say I’m practically kissing her a**
Post # 3
Honesty is the best policy. I’d say to her what you said here, that you love him and you’re not going anywhere and that the two of you can either get along and make things easy for both families, or you can fight and have your differences and put a huge wedge in between everyone. She needs to grow up and realize she’s not in control of everything.
Post # 4
Wow, that sounds terrible. I am really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I really can’t give much advice as I am not experiencing and don’t know anyone who has experienced the “wretched MIL”. What I do know is many mother’s are overly protective of their sons and will probably be overbearing on the FDIL.
If you have already “practically been kissing her a**”, it sounds like she is set in her ways and usually this is the case for older people. Has your FH spoken to her about her about how she treats you? Surely he noticed?
Post # 5
@AngelJCV: Yeah he has, and then she said “Well then she can move out” And if I move out, he moves out, which leaves his mother and father stuck cause the father is the only one who works, and she wont work and he doesn’t make enough to pay bills. And he doesn’t wanna do that to his parents and I don’t want to make him choose.
Post # 6
Move out… ASAP. His parents are adults.. they’ll figure out something. That’s not your OR his problem. I don’t see this situation getting any better for either of you if you continue to stay.
Post # 7
@MsFoxxy: Agreed, it’s just going to get worse. But give notice, don’t run out in the next 24 hours. Give them a month, at least.
Post # 8
@KristaBaybay: I honestly think it is of necessity that you move out asap. It is clear that she does not respect you. Your FI needs to realize that you are soon to be his wife and the two of you are going to form your own family unit. I agree with the PP’s, it is going to get worse. It’s seems like she wants to be your FI’s top priority and once the two of you are married, she is going to feel even more threatened and possibly be more demanding on you just to make it hard on you and push you to the edge.
If their financial well-being is of great concern to your FI, he can still support them after you guys move out. That doesn’t require living with them.
Post # 9
@KristaBaybay: Well if he wants a life with you, then he’s gonna have to choose btw his WIFE and his parents. Sorry, its not his responsiblity to help them financially to the detriment of his life with you. Hitting you with a newspaper, wow sweetie you have more patience that i ever could. Its either you guys move out together, or you have to go, I would never tolerate being disrespected like that. Ever.
Post # 10
You need to move out asap. I understand that you don’t want to make your FI choose between his family and you but you need to tell him that you are ok living with his family if they all treat you well but that you will not put up with being treated like shit. Why would you even sit down and let her chew you out? If someone said that to me I would have just ignored them and done whatever I wanted. You need to mmake sure that you FMIL understand that you are not going anywhere and that she can either get along with you or keep fighting until her son moves out of the house. But when you and you FI almost broke up and you left the house what that shows her is that she could break up so now she may try even harder to do that so its really important that you and your FI show a united front.