Advice please! Would you go if you were me or am I just being a big old grumpy?

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you go? (and explanations are greatly appreciated in the comments)
    Yes : (23 votes)
    49 %
    No : (24 votes)
    51 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6964 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @MaidMarian:  Hmmm… I’d probably go because my BF really wanted me to, but I wouldn’t be terribly happy about it. I don’t think it’s really fair to split up a couple like that. 

    How far is it from home? I’d be tempted to go into the city with my BF and hang out, then catch a cab to the reception. If we were spending the night, I’d check into the hotel and spoil myself there until the reception. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    9137 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @MaidMarian:  Why don’t you both just attend the reception then?  I’m sure it won’t take much convincing for him to skip the ceremony and honestly, unless it’s a very small ceremony, the bride won’t notice he’s not there.  She actually did the appropriate thing and invited you to the reception; she may not have enough space at the ceremony venue for extra people.

    Post # 5
    Member
    10493 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    @MaidMarian:  Is it all at one venue?  Is there a gap?

    If it’s just him for the ceremony and both of you for the reception he should be able to meet up with you in between, before you’re at the reception.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    @MaidMarian:  I agree it’s very weird to split up people like that, What’s going on in the 7 hours that you’re not invited to? Is it wedding prep stuff, or the actaul ceremony? I don’t really understand why they’d split you up like that, but ultimately I would go. I’d be annoyed, but I’d be sure to spend those 7 hours primping like crazy so he can really show you off when you get there. I would have him meet you outside the venue (text him when you get there maybe) so you dont have to walk in alone, that will probably make it a lot easier 🙂

    Post # 7
    Member
    5697 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I probably wouldn’t go because frankly I just think that’s rude to do. So I voted no, the reality of it though, is that it’s more likely that my husband wouldn’t want to go without me and he’d wait until the time I was invited to go with me, if we even went at all. But he’s also not the kind of person who loves to socialize in a large setting on his own.

    Post # 9
    Member
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @beachbride1216:  +1

    I agree with PP, why don’t you both just attend the reception.

    Post # 11
    Member
    7090 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    Couples should be all or nothing, IMO. I’d only go if your BF agreed to also only attend the evening reception.

    Post # 13
    Member
    3828 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @Westwood:  +1

    I dont know why they split you up. I would either only go with BF to the evening reception, or neither of you go. He can just FB them and say “sorry i replied yes, but actually we cant come” or he can just go alone if your ok with that. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    254 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @MaidMarian:  Sorry, then can you both just attend the evening reception? Its a shame for your boyfriend to attend a wedding without his girlfriend, especially if he really wants you there… but I understand not wanting to go seperately.

     

    Post # 15
    Member
    2052 posts
    Buzzing bee

    @MaidMarian:  Soooooo….I said no.  Is this a thing?  I’ve never heard of people being invited to one part of the wedding and not the other….how odd!

    I would honestly think that this is weird, and if it were me and my day, if I said you could bring a +1 well, I would mean for the entire thing.

    I guess it depens on how independent you are for 6 hours….

    Post # 16
    Member
    668 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    I wouldn’t go. It is essentially a non-invite. “Hey, you can show up to a club and buy your own drinks and food with a bunch of people you don’t know who are already drunk!” Nah, thanks!

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