Advice: what would you do??

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you invite this person? (read post first)
    Yes : (1 votes)
    3 %
    No : (36 votes)
    97 %
  • Post # 2
    Member
    3223 posts
    Sugar bee

    crisy003:  You just have to say it.  It is not impolite to say no.  You can try to soften the blow, if you want to maintain a relationship with her, or not if you don’t care.

    No. It is a complete sentence.

     

    Post # 3
    Member
    1749 posts
    Bumble bee

    Have the brother shut it down? I wouldn’t invite her and cite space issues when she brings it up.

    Post # 4
    Member
    42472 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    crisy003:  “I’m sorry but we are having an intimate wedding and are not able to invite all those with whom we would like to celebrate. I know you will understand.”

    Do not reference any reason  like space, budget etc. It just supplies this type of person with a problem to solve for you so that they can come.

    “Not enough room? No problem, I’ll just pull up a chair on the end of the table.”

    “I’ll be happy to pay for my meal.”

    etc etc etc

    Bad behavior should not be rewarded by you inviting her to the wedding.

    Post # 5
    Member
    5272 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY

    Tell her the truth: it’s an intimate wedding, not able to invite everyone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    I think you got some decent advice in your last thread about how to deal with this girl.  I really think the bad news needs to come from your FI since he is the one she considers “family”.  

    Also, like PP poster said.  NO is a complete sentence.  It is not impolite to say no to a request.  

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    3016 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

    julies1949:  +1

    Also, where is your FI’s brother? If he’s her friend, he needs to take her aside and explain how awkward she’s being.

    Post # 9
    Member
    288 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    prahajess:  I was kind of wondering the same thing.  Someone in this family needs to have a chat with this girl.  

     

    crisy003:  What about your FMIL?  If you can’t get your FI to do it, and you are having trouble doing it yourself do you think you could ask her to help you?

    Post # 12
    Member
    3941 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    crisy003:   I would absolutely not invite her, and I suggest devising a plan to deal with her appearance.  Perhaps designate someone to escort her our of the venue.  

    Post # 13
    Member
    335 posts
    Helper bee

    Don’t invite her, have your FI talk to his brother about talking to him if you guys can’t seem to get through and have a plan where someone may need to be the one to escort her out even if she manages to still not get the hint. Do not feel like you have to invite her, it’s your wedding if you guys don’t want her there don’t invite her and leave it at that, no reason to give her an excuse or anything.

    Post # 14
    Member
    795 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    crisy003:  Whoa, she sounds crazy! Anyone thought of a restraining order? I know that’s extreme, but she sounds like she has some mental health issues if your FMIL has to go to such great lengths to avoid the girl! 

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