(Closed) Advice , with dealing with pressure and other.

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
501 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@josynix:  hello again!! you and your FI are sooo young …. i really think you should take on board the advice i gave you in the previous post.

Post # 4
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

What you are describing is a big reason not to get married so young.  He is still acting like a child rather than a mature adult ready to get married.  When you marry someone you marry their family too if they are close with them or in this case still live with them.  While you’re in your FMIL’s you are stuck living with her and at least some of her rules.  If you don’t like it you have a few choices: 1) get married and deal with it; 2) get married and move out with your FH into your own place; 3) wait to get married until you are both more self sufficient (i.e. have your own place and are done with school.)

Marriage is difficult even in best scenarios.  People say you’re too young because at 18 it is unlikely you have lived by yourself or paid bills under the threat of eviction or repossession.  It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t marry your FH, it only means in the Bee’s vast ages and experiences, the younger you are at the time you get married the more likely it is to fail because there are added pressures and expectations that come with marriage that take time and maturity to deal with.  Many of us have been there because we too thought we were old enough and mature enough; a few succeeded while many, many other failed and ended up in our mid-20s divorced.

Getting married is not going to magically solve al of your problems with your FH and  FMIL.  Unfortunately, it will likely only make them worse.

Post # 8
Member
5894 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@josynix:  Why are you getting married at 18? Why dont you wait until you are a little older?

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