Advise for a Missing FOB

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
42089 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

FutureMrsHouy:  Stick to your planned wording. There is no reason to specifically acknowledge him on the invitation when the other parents are not being named.

Post # 4
1715 posts
Bumble bee

It’s great that he contributed money, but I don’t think that means you need to include his name in any part of the wedding. 

He hasn’t been present in much your life, so I don’t see why he should get any mention on the invitations. I mean, you don’t give someone a title or position when they didn’t do what was necessary. The same goes for parents. If they don’t do the work, they don’t get the full recognition. He’s been absent, so there’s no reason to include him in the wedding.

It’s not something to do out of spite or negative feelings, it’s simply acknowledging the reality of the situation. 

Post # 5
1649 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I wouldn’t put his name on the invite. 

Post # 6
1103 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’d look at his money as a gift and not a contribution. Look at it this way, anyone who gifts you money, you wouldn’t put their name on the invite as you may have to list every guest! He chose to give you a gift towards the wedding, but that’s all it is. 

Post # 7
1715 posts
Bumble bee

Oops, I meant to write, “It’s great that he gave you a gift of money…” and “He hasn’t been present in much of your life…”. 

Post # 8
405 posts
Helper bee

I wouldn’t put his name on the invite or send him an invitation.

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