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After having a conversation with a friend last night, I am a bit annoyed. This friend became pregnant a couple of years after we graduated high school. Her husband will not keep a job. He'll work a couple of days and quit. She won't work, he won't work and they have a three year old. They live 100% off of government assistance, from housing to food to insurance. I'm not against government assistance programs, but I think the adults receiving any assistance should be clearly showing they are putting forth an effort to better their lives and get on their feet. Not looking for a job or finding a job and quitting in a couple of days is not what I consider effort. Anyways, she informs me that she's having her IUD removed this week. Their marraige is in trouble and they think another child will be their saving grace. (I think that's a bad idea--whether financially stable or not).
I'm just so annoyed/angered. How can you just have another child knowing you're living 100% off of the government? DH and I want children badly, but we have to wait a couple more years so we're more financially stable and prepared.
Ick, that makes my skin crawl. First if all, as a person who was conceived to try and save a marriage please tell them it IS NOT a good idea. I have no happy memories of my parents together and the finally divorced when I was 5. I've had a complex, so to speak, ever since I was a child because I've been a "failure" since day 1 (I was supposed to save my parents marriage but I failed at that). It just isn't right to bring a child into that situation.
Secondly I completely agree - that's like when I see people in the grocery store using their welfare cards to either complete crap (my tax dollars should not pay for twinkies) or them buying things I can't afford (in so glad my hard earned money is buying steak for your family). It makes me livid. The government totally needs to regulate welfare more strictly! It can be so amazing when people are using it AND trying to better themselves but it gets abused far too often!
Ya, I'd be pretty annoyed with that too!
I have a friend kind of like that too.
She has a child and is expecting another one and lives 100% off the government.
It drives me insane because when I got pregnant at a young age, I was greatful to have social assistance. I used it for what it was for... getting on my feet. I went back to school and got a career. And I wouldnt have been able to do it without welfare/student loans.
But many people dont see it as a stepping stone, they see it as a money grab.
this bothers me on like 18 different levels - first, the "have a baby to fix things" plan never, ever works out
second, people like them who are milking the system are the ones who have put the rest of the people who need and use the assistance properly in a bad light - and, because of fraud like this, they are further weakening or economy where now you and i have to pay more and save more for the things that they are getting for free
social assistance is a great thing when used properly, but its people like this that give those who really need it a bad name
This sort of thing infuriates me. That’s why I WISH mandatory birth control would be required for those collecting government assistance. I realize it’s against human rights and blah blah blah but why is it okay for these irresponsible people to continuously pop out kids that the tax payers have to support? This is one of the problems with our country. Leeches get used to having everything handed to them so they don’t see the point in working to support themselves. If you can’t afford to support yourself, let alone your first child then you certainly can’t afford to support any subsequent children that you so irresponsibly choose to have. Do us all a favor and wrap it up until you get an f’ing job and become a contributing member of society!
One of my best friends started collecting assistance after she had her second child (they were barely supporting the first). She was saying how her second kid hasn’t cost her a dime since they receive full assistance for him so she couldn’t wait to have their third. I love my friend but I’m seriously sick of her and everyone else taking advantage of those of us who actually work to support our own families.
That makes me really mad. In Richmond, there's a place that people go to sell their food stamp cards for cash. $500 for $300... and they don't get arrested!
@caitMarae, I totally agree on the mandatory birth control, human rights issue or not...but I also feel that those on assistance should be regularly drug tested as well.
@tranquility, AMEN sister. I have health insurance through the dept. of public welfare because I am diabetic. BUT, I have to be working to get it and I pay a small premium that is dependent on how much I make. Do I love having it? Yes. I never would be able to afford the diabetes supplies and medication without it. But more importantly, it's helped me to be able to get the diabetes under such control that I'm not having to take medication all the time. I'm in grad school right now, so when I find a job within my field, I'll be more than happy to not have the insurance anymore. So I understand what you're saying and wish more had your attitude.
I totally agree! Government assistance programs should be a hand-up not a hand-out.
Not to mention people that abuse the system make it worse for people that actually NEED a little help. I think there needs to be an over-haul of welfare, food-stamps, and government assistance programs.
I do like the WIC program because it limits what they can buy to nurishing basic foods. But regular food stamps I saw at least 50% of people using them ABUSING them when I worked at a grocery store in college; buying either all junk food, or buying veal & lobster every week, or using the cash portion of the card to buy several cartons of cigarettes.
I worked for an inner city daycare facility for 6 years and I saw this everyday! Parents would drop off their children and then go to the beach (and show up past closing smelling of the beach) and say, "oh sorry we got a flat tire!"
It makes me sick to my stomach how people use children as a money ticket. I use to have this little girl in my room and we would have to give her a bath because she smelled so bad every morning. ( I know she didnt bath at home because her feet were always black ) I wish they had better guidelines and rules regarding state help.They have half-ass programs here where you do a "job search" and get the help you need as long as your "looking for a job". Pathetic!
Your friend would no longer be my friend. I'd tell her to take a hike.
It's sad isn't it?
There are money stores that will gladly let you buy non WIC applicable items and charge it as such.
Sadly, I know many people who abuse the system.
That's sad. My husband got laid off when we were due with our daughter and I was approved for Medicaid right before my due date. I had never had to rely on assistance before and it was very humbling, but I was so grateful to have it. Once he got another job that was that and we opted into company insurance again.
When he was laid off again and had to file for unemployment, it was our saving grace for about a month. He thankfully found a great job that is looking to be stable, and we cancelled the unemployment when he finally got paid. Again, grateful we had it there when we needed it!
We've learned a lot though from these experiences, and it has been a major wakeup! We thought when we got married that we'd have 4 kids and a dog and a white picket fence. Now our agreement is, take care of the one we already have and give her the very best life possible! It was really hard for us to get that assistance because so many people abuse it. And for us (tax paying, law abiding people who have a hard time asking for help) it was frustrating.
Ugh -- Don't even get me started on this. The Government and Welfare Assistance is a complete joke because of people like that. There are people who sincerely need help and are either TOO PROUD TO TAKE IT or worried about the backlash from someone who knows they're on it, because people abuse it.
You see the people with the foodstamps and the cash assistance roll up to the stores in mercedes and escalades dressed all nicely and their kids look like they just got out of a dumpster. Then they have a cart full of (un-healthy) groceries to feed their families that they pay for their EBT with -- THEN, they have a big cart of beer and liquor and cigarettes behind it that they pull out a wod of hundreds to pay for it with. That's what I LOVE seeing my hard-earned tax dollars go for!
Just a small side-story, I'll try to make it as short as possible, but it goes with this. When I was 18 (just graduated HIGH SCHOOL) I was ready to move back to Kentucky to attend college there (from Florida). Since I was not considered an "In-state" resident I would have "out-of-state tuition" which was INSANE. There were proper channels you could take to debate whether you were in or out of state as well as to get government grants or loans to help with schooling. My family isn't RICH (or I should say wasn't, my dad -- the breadwinner has since lost his job -- May of this year), but we had enough to get by and what we wanted, but not for them to support me 700 miles away. I had a job, in a call center no less (but I enjoyed it) working 40-45 hours a week. I worked 2 mall jobs on the weekends. I had fixed rent by living in college apartments with 3 friends I had growing up. I made my car payment (to my parents) and paid for my own cell phone bill, groceries, gas, going out money -- etc. I applied and applied and applied for college aid and in-state tuition, but I was still required to use my parents income. (Not gonna get any financial aid with that). The only way I could over-ride it would be to 1.) Get Married 2.) Be active or reserve in the military 3.) Be a ward of the state or 4.) HAVE A CHILD. If I would have had a child I would have had FULL IN-STATE TUITION PAID, free child-care for my kid and received a cash allotment monthly for other supplies. It irked me to no end that because (and this might offend some people, so I'm sorry) I was RESPONSIBLE in HS and didn't get knocked up that I was suffering by not being able to go to school. Yes, I know I could have stayed in Florida -- where I eventually came back to and I'm at now -- but I'm still not eligible for loans or grants here either.
I have friends and had friends then that have children and would get all sorts of money from the state, or their financial aid checks and cash them to go on Spring Break! How do you do that? I just don't get it. I'm sorry I went on a rant on your thread!! This just itches me in a special place and I could go on and on.
I was behind a woman at the grocery store last year who was paying with food stamps. Her entire cart was full of junk food and BEER. The cashier took her card and she ended up owing additional money. She slid, what I assume to be a debit card, through the machine and it was declined. The cashier explained to her that she’d have to pay with another tender and she freaked out. She was calling the cashier all sorts of names and talking down to her, making references to her being “just a cashier”. Um, the cashier didn’t look a day over 20 and was more than likely just working there part time while in college. This woman, with multiple dirty children in tow, really should have looked in the mirror before throwing out any insults.
Anyways, she didn’t have enough to cover her bill so she turns and looks at ME as if I’m going to feel bad for her and cover the rest of her bill. I couldn’t help but do one of those “are you f’ing kidding me?” laughs. There wasn’t a chance in hell I was giving that chick a dime after the way she handled herself. It’s people like her, and soooo many others, that feel entitled to whatever they want because they abuse the system and get away with it. If this woman would have been buying atleast some healthy food and not have been such a bitch to the cashier then maybe I would have felt bad for her and helped but the way she acted, she can starve for all I care.
1. How are they even ABLE to get assistance if they are both able to work?
2. They need to use some of that assistance to get marital counseling and individual counseling.
3. They make it bad for the ppl who really do need help to get it or like Katyelle said, they are ashamed b/c ppl will judge them like these ppl.
4.) HAVE A CHILD. If I would have had a child I would have had FULL IN-STATE TUITION PAID, free child-care for my kid and received a cash allotment monthly for other supplies.
WHOA!
@jayelcee85: Amen.
I have one (count that: ONE) friend who used public assistance to better herself. She was in a crappy situation having left the father of her children who was just a total ass. I would have handed her any money I had if I could. She was able to also get a grant to finish her education and is now working full-time in a position that gives back to the community. I am proud of her. She took a helping hand and raised herself up to provide a better life for her and the kids.
@KatyElle: what you did was totally commendable too. That is what assistance is supposed to be used for.
NOW, like I said: ONE person that I know IRL. Do you know how many cases I know personally of people just using the system? It's disgusting. How many families I know who took various forms of public assistance, and then, like CaitMarie, I see them at the grocery store with shit food, or coming out of the packy with cases of beer and cigarettes??? How many of them do this generation after generation?
I was in a tough situation when my child was born. My first job paid less than what I would have made off welfare if you include housing assistance, but I worked my way up and fought like hell.
And this, my friends, is part of why I left the democratic party.
It's the people that use it to their benefit and as a stepping stone, like a PP said, that we need more of!
Congratulations to all of you that used it the right way and to make better lives for yourself!
Ugh, so frustrating. My mom became a single mom to 3 kids under 10 and we qualified for NO goverment assistance, other than social security survivor benefits.
Oh and in October I am going to a wedding for a couple with 2 children (they are 21 and 22) and they are having over 300 guests. This couple lives in section 8 hoursing and are on welfare. How is that fair??
@Bostongrl25:That drives me crazy. I can't afford a wedding with 300 guests because I have to put food on the table and pay my mortgage.
In Australia there are people who have babies for the baby bonus, which was $6000 at a time - i don't think its that high anymore, but when i first moved here in 2005 thats what it was and there were people who would go on TV and gloat about the fact that they were having babies for the bonus. I just wanted to shake them and say "do you realise how quickly $6000 will be used up????" Even if a baby eats nothing but breastmilk for 6 months and you get all the furniture/necessities for the baby second hand or donated from family, $6000 still won't last long. It just makes me angry. That's a LIFE, for god's sake!!
In DC they tried (are trying? I'm not sure of the outcome) to cap the welfare time limit to 5 years. That caused a big stink. Thing is, in DC I can see the difficulty if you're anything less than filthy rich--the cost of living here is completely out of whack. But I do think that welfare should have a time limit (it does in most of the country if I'm not mistaken), that encourages you to use it to get back on your feet vs. live off the state indefinitely.
This strikes a nerve with me also. I know a couple (DH's friends who are no longer friends) who milk the system. They pretend they are separated when they are very much together. Their 13 year old is old enough to know what's going on. Their newborn is a result of free fertility treatments because they are on social assistance. Their flat screen is a gift from the government too if you catch my drift.
Worse, they go to food banks at Christmas and get free snowsuits because they are "in need" when they are both very capable of working. They just don't want to. A new van, family trips and to top it all off, said friend backed out of best man duties because he "couldn't afford it".
There was one sentiment expressed in this thread that makes my blood absolutely boil.
"my tax dollars should not pay for twinkies"
"I'm so glad my hard earned money is buying steak for your family"
I have been disabled since age 17 and I lost my job because of my disability, but I don't qualify for social security. I had to go on food stamps over a year ago while I got back on my feet and with the economy (and the fact that I have more experience than most of the people where I live) I can't even get hired at fast-food or retail, plus I am STILL disabled. It burns me up to see people judging the kind of foods I buy. Why should someone who genuinely needs public assistance be treated like an animal and told that they are not permitted to eat well so that they can improve their health? Why should they NOT be allowed one comfort when everything else is falling apart for them? I'm not saying it's a good thing that people buy junk food, but processed food is cheaper and people don't get as much for food as you would think so a lot of times you have to make it stretch however you can.
@Potatoes: This topic is about people who milk the system. People who are very capable of working and holding a job, but choose not to. This does not include you-people who WANT to work but can't find a job and people are going through tough times. That is what the programs are intended for but people do abuse the system.
@Potatoes: I personally don’t have a problem with people purchasing steak with their food stamps but I can see how this would anger some people. There are a lot of working class families who slave all week at work but make too much money to qualify for much needed assistance (I have a friend who made $7 more than the cutoff and she was denied). These families more than likely never have steak dinners because they simply can’t afford it. It’s totally understandable that they would be angered over seeing someone on government assistance being able to afford these luxuries that they can’t when they’re doing everything right.
@MsJeep23: There is a cap in some places, then you have another child and it restarts or so I thought. I could be wrong.
I used assistance when my son was born 13 years ago. I was a single mom and needed it to get by. The minute I had a car (I lived in the middle of nowhere with family) and was able to get a job I was working. So there are people out there who do not abuse the system.
@Potatoes: Because programs like SNAP and WIC are for people and families who could otherwise not afford it to have access to good nutritious food. The program is designed to help lower income families make healthier choices.
They cant live off the government forever so I dont think they have thought it through properly. After a while they will get cut off from getting unemployment benefits.. etc so good luck to them when that happens
We have girls in our home that struggle to get benefits and they're really trying to better themselves. I hate it.
I was on benefits while I was a full time student.... I have my DS and choose not to work during that time (which I had for years prior) b/c being a single mom I was seeing how it was effecting DS not ever seeing me or having that stability. I worked part time at the college in between my classes and applied for benefits.... I almost couldn't get them b/c the worker couldn't see why I couldn't work fulltime... UH b/c to do that I would've had to work nights. I know that there are moms out there that do have to do that and boy do I commend them b/c that was hard for those years...
My only realy issue with the system is that people who really need it can't get it b/c of things like having too much on person cash (even if that 100 bucks is ALL they have to their name) when people driving nice cars, refusing to get a legitimate job, & popping out kids get them like their air! =/
I do agree on the madatory bc.... and DH and I even talked about how condoms should be one of those things that could be gotten on foodstamps.. lol ANYTHING to get a hand on all the baby making. lol
I agree. No one really knows the situation. If a person who relies on food stamps, and wants to celebrate a birthday, or long weekend, and uses their food stamps for steaks, then by all means do so. Treat yourself. I don't think theres anything wrong with that at all. I also don't think there is anything wrong with getting twinkies, in accordance to healthy foods, for your children as a treat. All children deserve a treat.
But I think the example was more directed towards people who only use the stamps for junk, or the people who go in and use their stamps for only steaks, and lobster, etc.
Maybe just better regulation would help. I mean why are food stamps going to people who can regularily use them to buy steaks, and junk.
I recently just found out my cousin was on foodstamps. I was furious. Her parents pay for everything for her. She has a cell phone, a car, a place to live, food, etc. But because she works as an intern on some commune and makes no income she applied for food stamps, just so she could take the money her parents give her for food and spend it on week long concert trips and vacations.
That is what infuriates me about these programs. Someone should be able to regulate it so that my cousin is not taking food stamp money away from someone who could actually use it. A single mother who may work two jobs and still can't make enough and needs the assistance. A person who was just laid off and needs the income to support their family. A disabled person who wants to work but can't. These are the people who should be getting government assistance, not my cousin who just wants to exploit more of her parents money and, truthfully, all of ours!
My Mom told me that when her local government stopped giving additional welfare benefits to mothers when they had an additional child the birth rate in her area among welfare recipients went WAY down. That statistic made me kind of mad because clearly they CAN stop having kids and living off the government, but they don't choose to as long as they can still get handouts. Meanwhile, DH and I are both working our ASSES off full time and intentionally holding off on having kids because it is way too expensive for us. I understand some people really do need and deserve assistance and I'm all for it, but clearly there has been a problem with our system for a long time.
@Cash000: I agree with that. What people are upset about is those who abuse the system. I've seen it first-hand, multiple times, and it makes me mad b/c it takes away $$ from those who need it -- and like other PP have said, to see those who are trying to better their lives not be able to get it or to see those who truly need it not get as much as they need b/c others have learned generationally how to play the system... it's disgusting.
I'm not against public assistance. I'm against those who abuse it like it's some birthright.
And yes! I knew someone who took foodstamps b/c they qualified, but they had $30,000 hidden away under a family member's name. WTF??? He had no kids, just him!
I wish the system worked better. FI's sister is on it. She has two kids and lives with one of the fathers and his other son. In a house left to them by a relative. And the man works full-time. She has a pretty nice, new car and has had a few jobs but always gets fired within the first week for not showing up. She claims she has a disability, but it's not true. She has been on the program for about 10 years. If that isn't milking it, I don't know what is. She keeps talking about eloping with this man and I keep wondering how it will effect her benefits then. Neither FI nor myself agree with this lifestyle, but we both keep quiet because he has argued with her about it several times in the past and she responded by keeping his niece and nephew from him and not letting him see them for months. I hate to judge someone close to me so harshly, but really. It's not right. I think they need to find a better system. If you just don't work, you qualify for all kinds of stuff, but if you are the working poor, you get nothing.
Shit like this infuriates me. A few bad apples have stigmatized the entire system, making it more difficult for people truly in need to get it and resulting in widespread judgments of people on welfare. You bring up food stamps in conversation and you'll get at least one or two people telling stories about how this one time they were at the store and some person was buying junk with their food stamps, blah blah blah. Like who gives a shit what's in someone else's cart, ya know? There's a journalist who writes for my hometown newspaper who is OBSESSED with food stamp abuse and every time he writes an article there are like, twenty people talking about seeing people at Meijers buying "unacceptable" food with their food stamps. Am I the only one who doesn't pay attention to what's in the carts of people in front of me at the grocery store & what the person is paying with?!? (CaitMarie's story is of course different because that woman was batshit crazy and drawing attention to herself)
@KatyElle: The only problem with that is the fact that most healthy, nutritious food is expensive. SNAP recipients can stretch their dollars more buying cheap, unhealthy crap. Fresh fruits and vegetables need to be more reasonably priced, darn it!
lol, I find the whole journalist thing is freakin hilarious. Whata loser. Like write about something different.
I hear ya though, I never pay attention to what someone is buying, or how they are paying for it. I have my own shit to worry about.
Also, I completely agree with the school assistance. Because I am not yet 25, not yet married, and don't have a child, I am still considered a dependent of my Mother's despite the fact that I have been independent and filed my taxes as such for the past four years. And my mother barely makes enough to cover the bills, but because she has a lot in assets from my deceased father, according to the FAFSA, they estimate she gives me $40,000 a year. That is almost her whole yearly salary! The assets are investments for her retirement! It's just messed up. If I had been more irresponsible, I could get school for free, but as it is, I can't get any assistance other than regular student loans.
my favorite are the mom's with 3 kids that are sitting in the nail salon, telling someone on their cell phone to check the mail to "make sure the assistance check is in the box" and for them to go cash it and bring it to said nail salon. makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
@assilem: I agree. It's a stretch for us to buy the healthy organic stuff I want my daughter to have. I wish it was more affordable.
But I also think it's abusing these programs to use them to buy nothing but crap for your kids. Not a once in awhile treat, but loading up your cart with Doritos, Twinkies and Coke. The program is not there so you can buy 10 for $10 boxes of Little Debbie cupcakes, the program is there so that families can stretch their dollar and incorporate fresh food into their food budget. You can get pretty hefty discounts on produce, milk, eggs, cheese, whole grain bread...
I just think it's taking advantage and doing no service to kids by doing that.
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