Post # 1
I’m a regular poster on here, but feel a bit ashamed posting this, so I created a new account.
My FH and I are waiting until we’re married to be intimate. He’s had sex before, but he’s given that part of his life back to God. I am a virgin and very grateful that God has helped us stay pure so far when we want each other so badly. FH is also the only person I’ve kissed 🙂
Anyway, I have very small breasts. I am about 5’7 1/2″ and 118 pounds, and I wear a size 34B or 32C. That doesn’t sound all that small, but they look small on my tall frame. FH says he loves the size of my breasts and hates large breasts (though mine could be a lot bigger without being big), but I am afraid they will be smaller than he expects when he sees me naked for the first time. I have some bras with a lot of padding and some with hardly any, and he says he prefers the latter, but he also likes it when my breasts get bigger when I’m on my period, so that confuses me.
I just read a post on another site; it was written by a newlywed who said she and her husband waited till marriage to have sex, and when he saw her naked for the first time, he said he was disappointed because her breasts were smaller than he thought they’d be. I’m afraid that’s what will happen to me; I’m not sure FH really understands how SMALL my breasts are. I’m afraid he will compare me to his past partners in his mind and decide that it’s better to have big breasts than hardly any breasts at all.
And I’m afraid that he’ll be disappointed in my choice of wedding night lingerie. I want to wear something that is more sweet than sexy (for the same reason that I want to wear white lingerie–I will be “pure and innocent” on our wedding night). But he said he wants me to wear something super-sexy. I’m afraid that I’ll wear something that’s not sexy enough and he’ll be disappointed, or I’ll wear something that’s too sexy and he’ll think it’s too crazy.
Please help 🙁
ETA: My breasts also look smaller than they are because they’re pretty far apart, so if I wore lingerie that was low-cut and didn’t have any support, I would literally look completely flat.
Post # 3
hmm i was about to write 20 replys and they didnt seem suitable.
He wont be dissapointed.. Stop thinking that way!!
Post # 4
Have you considered boudoir pics? Maybe just seeing yourself in that light and him knowing what he has to look forward to will let you loosen up a bit.
Also a lot of guys really just don’t like bigger boobs, my brother and a lot of his friends that I lived with in college all agreed smaller boobs are better than saggy big boobs. So don’t even trip on your ta-tas!
Post # 5
@murmur: Same! My boyfriend’s the same way.. “more than a handfull is a waste!” 😉
Maybe you should talk to him about what you want to wear the first night and why, and then maybe pick something a little sexier out together for another night! The first night, you should make sure you’re as comfortable as possible because yes, it’s weird and new and awkward in some ways.
The biggest thing here is to communicate your fears. I’m sure if you said all this to your FH he would make you feel 100% better about it 🙂
Post # 6
If a man is close enough to touch your naked body, he is not thinking about anything else but touching you. He’s not analyzing your breast or their size or anything else. He just wants to touch you. Trust me. He won’t even care if your legs are shaved.
Post # 7
Body image issues suck, and there really aren’t any magic words that can make the problem go away completely – the best thing I can tell you, which is what most people would say, I imagine, is to just trust that your FI will love you the way you are. It sounds like you have a slim figure (I envy you in that regard!), and I’m sure your FI thinks you’re beautiful! Tell him your concerns, and if he’s a good guy, he’ll put you at ease. (I can’t believe the story about the other poster you mentioned – if I’d waited until marriage to be intimate with my husband, and after his first look at me he actually SAID he was disappointed, I’d probably get a divorce attorney right then and there. I’m being a little bit facetious, but that is a cruel and unnecessary thing to say. That guy, whoever he was, sounds like a jerk.)
As for the lingerie, go with what you feel most comfortable in! You have your whole life from here on out to venture into more seductive and adventurous lingerie. And my thought is, if he hasn’t been with you yet, then the specific type of lingerie you’re wearing should be the last thing on his mind! Especially since all he’s going to want is for it to come off. 😉 No man should be disappointed by the kind of lingerie you’re wearing when it’s the first time he gets to be intimate with you (as long as it’s not sweatpants or something). Frankly, if the first time he’s intimate with you he’s fixating on the color or style of lingerie, I’d think he was a first-class weirdo.
One thing I also wanted to say is, to the extent possible, try not to think about his past partners and how you compare with them. You will drive yourself INSANE, and it is no way to live. I’m not saying you’re not going to think about it ever, because I think we all do, or most of us, at least, but try not to think that way. You will make yourself sick.
All that said, there are a number of sexy woman out there who don’t have large breasts. Keira Knightley, anyone? My FI absolutely drools over her.
Post # 8
Yeah there is no reason to worry. I think the whoel idea of pickign something out together (or letting him pick) for another night (as you will be able to get use out of during the honeymoon) is a great idea. I understand body insecurities when you’re naked. My FI has a fantastic body, and had definitely been with girls with prettier bodies before me, and I was really nervous our first time. But in the end it didn’t really matter. There are SO many other things to focus on that nudity to me during sex is somewhat of an afterthought. I’m far from busty but as the PP but unless you’re with a breast guy as long as you have something I’m sure he’ll be satisified. 🙂
Post # 9
that other site you mentioned, the one with the husband who told his new wife that he was disappointed in his wifes breast… hes a complete putz! (i wish she told him that his dick was too small for her btw)
my body/weight goes up and down – ive been 50lbs heavier and lighter and guess what – my husband loves me no matter. he is committed to me and our marriage and it doesnt matter if im a b cup or have curves, i rock it because he makes me feel sexy no matter what so have faith and confidence in yourself and your husband
Post # 10
I agree with everything Melanie11 said. Trust me, a thought like that would be the last thing on his mind. Light candles or throw sheer scarves over the lamps to dim the lights and set the mood…softer light always makes me feel sexier. Just don’t put the candles anywhere you might accidentally knock over!! Wear what you want to wear and either get something with a little more kick for another honeymoon night or wait until you are more comfortable with the intimate side of your relationship. Trust me, he won’t miss it because he will be so excited and focused on wanting YOU.
Post # 11
it doesn’t matter what size boobs you have. i will tell you what practically every guy thinks about boobs.
boobs are good. big boobs, small boobs, white boobs, black boobs, big nipples, inverted nipples, light areola, dark areola, stretch marks or no. They are boobs. boobs are good.
i was watching tv with FI one night and a commercial for a movie came on.
The girl asked the guy “what do you like best about me?”
He said “your breasts.”
she said “really? i always thought they were small.”
he said “but they’re still breasts.”
Besides… beauty is in the eye of the beholder. and if he’s in love with you, he only sees how beautiful you are… not any of your ‘imperfections’.
Post # 12
Please stop with this thinking! He will not be dissapointed! He will just be super happy he can finally be with the woman he loves!
And small breast are just as beautiful as bigger ones. My FI says so to. And he’s not just saying that, because I have big breasts so he doesn’t need to say that 🙂
Post # 13
No way he will be disappointed. That’s crazy! And I’m sure by the time he finally gets to have you, it won’t matter what you are wearing. Good luck!
Post # 14
@eloping: THIS is perfect. If you FH loves you, he’ll love your “small” boobs. If you go into the situation feeling self conscious, he will see that and feel awkward as well. Be confident with your beautiful body, and he will follow suit.
I have big saggy boobs, and honestly…I’m jealous of your little girls. Rock it, girl.
Post # 15
@Deedeebee: My FI typically loves big boobs, too, but he still says small boobs are awesome. Because they’re still boobs. Guys really aren’t that picky when it comes to those types of things.
Your FI will love you no matter what lingerie you pick out or how big your chest size is. And if he says something horrific, like the other thread, just put your bra back on and go get an annullment :o).
Post # 16
You sound like you have smokin’ hot body. But I know what it’s like to have breast insecurities though because I’ve had two children, which I’m sorry to say just ruins your boobs forever. I am so self-conscious about them but I’ve never had one man (I’m definitely no virgin:), including my husband say one negative word.
So, obviously it’s really something I don’t need to obsess over. And neither should you. He’s going to see you naked and he’s going to be so excited (literally) that he won’t be analyzing your body parts. To be honest, he probably won’t even notice your lingerie because he’ll probably have it off before you know it. lol
Relax and be confident that he will be satisfied with you and your breast size. I know plenty of men who swear they like large breasts but then they fall in love with someone who is the total opposite and suddenly, it doesn’t matter.