(Closed) Afraid I'll want a baby right away/wtf happens after marriage?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I am sometimes likes this but I think it is important to try to focus on enjoying the present! I have been trying harder to do this because I think I sometimes wish away the present because I am constantly looking forward to the next step.. but if I don’t break that habit I will never truly be content with where I am in my life… and at one point where I am right now is all I wanted!

Post # 4
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@redheadem:  Traveling!  Plan out some great trips you guys can take.  I just got married, but I wish I was a little younger (I’m 34) because DH and I would love to have 5 more years to travel to Europe and see more of the Caribbean. 

 

Post # 5
Member
835 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I know what you mean, I always look forward to the next step. And since we already have a child, our next step is a house. I know I eventually want to go back to a doctorate program but I am simply not ready, I know I wouldn’t be focused.

Maybe traveling would be good for you? Or self-improvement? What do you like to do and focus on that maybe?

Post # 7
Member
14298 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Future MrsB:  I agree!!  Check those travel wishes off the bucket list!  I got married after 30 also and would have loved a few more years to travel.  Since we decided to TTC a year after getting married, we’ve just had this year to squish in Peru, Italy and Switzerland… the last of my must do’s, before taking a few years off from travel.

Post # 9
Member
1705 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Maybe a house?  It’s such a hectic, long process, it can definitely keep you occupied.  Plus, then when  you are ready to have a child you won’t be trying to do both at the same time (like we’re doing now…ugh). 

Post # 10
Member
1114 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Perhaps try out a new hobby?  Either something sporty where you can maybe progress to competitions or fun friendlies?  Or something crafty, so you end up creating something?  It depends on what you’re into really, but something you can really  get involved with (either alone or with your hubby) might be good to keep you busy and positive Smile

Post # 12
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

For us this is what we did/are doing

– traveling

– house

– exploring our own area taking day trips, over night trips

– spending time with each other and friends. have BBQ’s and brunch parties

– spend time doing hobbies

– save!!!!!!

I say go ahead and look forward to things, but focus on the fun themed dinner party next month your throwing or the weekend trip to that B&B etc. 

Post # 13
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@redheadem:  OMG I’m the same way!  Quite honestly, if I found out I was pregnant right now, I’d be thrilled.  I keep having to force the logical part of me to say “Pay off more debt, travel a bit with FI, go out with friends, make the house nice” to remind me that we still have time and these are things we can’t get back. 

I’ve promised myself that I won’t bring it up for at least a year unless he does.  Who knows.

ETA:  We planned a trip to NOLA is November which will help slow me down.  We’re also trying to sneak a few extra mortgage payments in each year

Post # 16
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I vote for self improvement. It’s certainly possible (and very rewarding) to get really deep into hobbies. Learn how to play an instrument, learn a foreign language, tackle a fitness challenge, take up painting, read the great books that you haven’t gotten around to, start taking dance classes. Look at the arts/crafts/performance evening classes offered in your area for fun ideas. Or look for volunteering options that speak to you. There is so much out there that you can devote yourself to, and it doesn’t have to be as expensive as travel (which I love, but I can only afford to take so many trips!). 

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