Afraid not to burden FI with my depression?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1721 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@ALazi:  I’ve been battling depression since I was 13…unfortunately it becomes a part of life.  For the most part the last few years have been fairly mild and when we started getting serious I did sit down and talk to FI about it because its something that has gone on for so long and I’ve gotten it pretty severly many times.  Someone that has never battled depression will never truly be able to comprehend the emotion behind it…but I think keeping open communication is really important to help get through it.  As soon as you push him away and stop talking to him bc u don’t want to burden him with it, you start weighing yourself down and then that catches up with you.  Definitely keep talking to him and let him know how you’re feeling.  I have a really hard time expressing my emotions, so when I can’t get myself to talk about it, I write about it.  As soon as you start pushing yourself away and isolating yourself, you give the depression an upper hand…so try to stay away from that as much as you can.  And if you ever need to vent to someone annonymous that won’t judge…you can always PM me.  I know its a constant battle, but its definitely a battle where having your FI by your side and supporting you will only help you get through it.

Post # 4
2169 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I agree with the previous poster. I too have depression and anxiety issues and whilst on the one hand I feel so guilty about FH having to shoulder that with me, ultimately he’s the one person on this earth that I trust enough to be completely honest about my struggles and he’s my shining light. Ultimately, I’d be in a much darker place if it weren’t for his unconditional love & support, no matter where my head is at. Its so hard to share that journey with someone after so many years alone but it’s part of me and I’m fortunate to have found a guy who is willing to walk this journey with me. Depression feeds on loneliness so having an ally to fight it is so important!

Post # 5
8850 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@ALazi:  my husband suffers with cyclical depression, and believe me, the best thing you can do for him is to be honest with him.  I would be so hurt if I found out he was keeping his feelings from me.  And he feels much better being able to lean on me for support and to know that we’re tackling it as a team.

Have you looked into low-cost treament centers?  He had a pre-existing clause on his insurance for a while and we were able to go to a grant-supported clinic that charged $5/hr for patient care and were able to primarily prescribe generic, $10/month prescriptions.  And this is in our little town of 30,000 people.  Please look around, there are a lot of options available for people with tight budgets.  It will only get worse if you don’t tackle this head on!  

Post # 6
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@ALazi:  My FI has anxiety and depression and is medicated for it taking a tablet every day.  I really feel the best thing we can do for each other is just to keep checking in with each other all the time and making sure he is feeling OK.  Unfortunately it will probably be a lifetime battle for us but one I am truly happy to deal with as I love him so much.  I would suggest the best thing is to keep talking to each other, let him support you and help you get through the particularly down times.  

From a partner point of view I want to hear about what it feels like / how you or him are feeling so I can be supportive and help.  I wouldn’t consider it a burden to listen and love and help my partner!

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