Post # 1
Does anyone have advice about choosing a dress for those of us with poor body image? Most people would think I look normal and healthy, but ever since I struggled with an eating disorder in middle school I haven’t been happy with my size or shape. Or my face or hair, for that matter. My family doesn’t know that I ever had a problem or that I feel self conscious, and my mom keeps pressuring me to go dress shopping. I am completely dreading it, and so afraid that there won’t be anything that looks good on me. Be honest- has anyone NOT been able to find a dress they were excited about? Or have other bees who struggle with body image found something they feel beautiful in?
Post # 3
Have you gone to try on dresses yet? My suggestion would be to try on everything the first time you go, even if in your head you’re thinking, “There’s no way in a million years!”. I think a lot of girls have a dress style or cut that they think they love or will look best on them and then end up getting something completely different. My other suggestion is to really listen to yourself. How you feel and your comfort level on your wedding day is SO important. If you’re uncomfortable, no matter how amazing you may look, it will show in photos. So if you’re going with family and/or friends after you show them each dress, no matter how in “aw” they are by it, go back in the room and really ask yourself if you love it and if you think you can be comfortable in it in front of all those people. How you feel matters most and you want to find something you love!!
I hope that’s helpful!
Post # 4
@coastalbee88: I think everyone wants to be a beautiful bride and wants to feel beautiful on their wedding day.
Wedding dress shopping was one of the most fun days I ever had. How often do you get to play dress-up with such beautiful clothing? It’s not every day that I get to try on big white dresses with crystals on them.
Wedding gowns (especially the one you wind up with) can really minimize trouble spots. For example, my thighs are a real trouble spot for me. My dress hides that well.
However, I think there is a difference between truly having a “trouble spot” and having body dysmorphia. If you hate everything about yourself, you may have deeper issues that need to be worked out before you try on dresses… or get married, for that matter.
I’d encourage you to seek help for this, or maybe go try on a dress by yourself before you schlep your family out to watch you. Just know, we usually hold the biggest magnifying glasses up to ourselves.
Post # 5
@coastalbee88: I think you will be surprised when you go shopping. I was about 15 lbs heavier than usual when I went and I wasn’t feeling that great about it….
To be honest…the cheap dresses showed every lovey lady lump…while the dresses which were better quality, gave me a vavavoom figure. I was really surprised.
So, if being a little self concious is the only thing holding you back, at some point you already know you have to let it go. I suggest going only with your mom and a close friend, maybe requesting an early appointment so that you aren’t swimming in a sea of other customers coming and going…which will leave you more at ease.
Post # 6
Thanks for the tips, especially the idea about going by myself first. Regarding body dysmorphia, it isn’t to that point, fortunately. I don’t hate my appearance- it’s fine day to day, and I know my fiance finds me beautiful- but I’m afraid I won’t feel like a beautiful bride on my wedding day.
Post # 7
I would definitely say to go by yourself first so you know what you like and don’t. Or, you can take a trusted friend who can help you see yourself for how others see you, not just the nit picking that we all do. Or, you could go with your FI if you aren’t going for the surprise factor. That way, you know you’ll feel beautiful and won’t be self conscious about whether or not he will like it. If you don’t want him to see the exact dress, have him see you in different styles so you can narrow it that way. Good luck!