(Closed) Afraid of "losing it" at ceremony! What can I do to hold back tears?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I was exactly the same, when we were choosing our vows I was balling my eyes out!! I knew I would be an emotional wreck on the day and was dreading it. However, the day came and I shed one or two tiny tears down the aisle but I was absolutely fine when I reached my husband. I just smiled and smiled all the way through. Totally surprised myself. Point is you may surprise yourself too, an if you do end up crying, who cares! It’s an emotional day 🙂

Post # 4
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had this same fear, I’ve come to terms that I probably won’t be able to control it.

Well, if I was all alone with my fi, it would be fine. But I tend to be a social crier! As soon as I hear my mom sniffling or something, I’m going to ugly cry.

What makes it worse, is i’m pretty sure my FI will bust into tears when he sees me walking down the aisle. That’s just his way. If he does, then I will for SURE ugly cry. I just hope I’m not completely mortified by it!

Post # 5
Member
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Whatever you do, don’t do what I saw one girl on 4 Weddings do. she kept muttering ‘toothpaste, something something’ or something along those lines! OMG it was so funny. Apparently someone told her that saying that repeatedly would keep her from crying.

The preist is talking, her SO is talking and her lips keep moving and she’s muttering to herself. She looks CRAZY and she was crying.

Post # 8
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I know I’m going to be really really emotional.  I keep having dreams about crying – I watched father of the bride with my other half and we were both crying.

I think it’s touching when you see a bride who loves her man that much that it brings a tear to her eyes.  I don’t think anyone could fault you for that.  But try and think of something boring (like guys do during sex haha – sandwiches or something) while you’re walking down the aisle to distract yourself!

Either way I know you’ll have a beautiful day and it will be perfect!

Post # 9
Hostess
8580 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

@rangersbride:  ROFL. I’d probably trip or something.

*walking down the aisle*

“Hm.. i wonder if I turned my curling iron of…..”

*falls flat on face*

Post # 11
Member
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Not sure what your ceremony will be like, but I was so afraid of bawling too – so we decided to skip a lot of personal vows and kept it to ‘I do’s’ and the ‘with this ring’s’ – that helped a lot and I was able to just smile!

Post # 12
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I had the same fear… and not to mention DH picked out the theme song from Last of the Mohicans for me to walk down the aisle to, yeah make me cry MUCH.

It SO helped that my niece, 2 years old, said SOOO FLIPPING LOUD …. Oh there’s Aunty she’sssssss so pretty… SHe”s A PRINCESS….  (she said it like three times as I walked up the aisle) She was jumping up and down on her seat and waving at me … so yeah I started laughing. 

ETA: our officiant started off .. with our blessing …… from princess bride … .”MWAIGE .. MWAIGE”

and ….  during the ceremony my niece she said in her “inside voice”  She’s a princes .. she gets her ring today daddy”  thank god cause I was on the verge of tears.  

Post # 13
Member
4660 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Birdi:  I am probably going to cry… which is a bigger issue since we’re self-uniting and performing the whole freaking ceremony ourselves. Eep. 

In my experience, if you want to lessen the effect: Think of something funny. NOT SOMETHING HAPPY, IT WILL MAKE IT WORSE. Something funny or stupid. A cat missing a jump or something. If you DO cry it’ll be like a cute giggle cry which looks better in pictures. Take deep, regular, slowish breaths and try to relax the muscles in your chest and neck.

Additionally, if you force an expression on your face, you actually begin to feel that. (Your body informs your brain about your emotions, it’s true.) So if you need to collect yourself, take a second and try to fake a really neutral, almost blank expression and it may help. 

Post # 14
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

try clearing your throat. 

Post # 16
Member
4313 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Ball your eyes out as much as possible beforehand.  Like right now, if you need to cry, cry.  If you hold it in, it will only be worse!

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