Post # 1
My fiancé’s best friend got married this weekend. Their wedding is one month before ours (by coincidence). For their ceremony, they did the Chris Brown “Forever” dance down the aisle. I don’t know if you’ve seen the You Tube video but it’s pretty popular. They also did a creative wedding party dance at the reception. My fiancé and I are laid back people, and we are going to do the regular walk down the aisle on the beach (with music from a guitarist). I know it’s by far not a competition and I am very happy for his friend. Their wedding was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed myself. I’m just feeling like my wedding will be “lack luster” compared to theirs. They even used movie themes for their tables which I thought were cute. We are using beach themed table numbers. They are cute, but not creative in the least.
Our similarities are also bothering me. They used the same poem I’ve asked our Officiant to read for our ceremony. It’s widely used and I really like it, and don’t want to change it just because they chose the same one. We also chose the same wedding colors (also by coincidence) Urgh! Our first dance song is also done by the same singer they used during their ceremony. I didn’t know about any of this until I went to their wedding, and was like, great, what do I do know?
My fiancé and I will be having a traditional wedding. The ceremony will be on the beach and the reception will be in a building overlooking the ocean. It will be beautiful, I’m just afraid it will seem boring. There will be a DJ and dancing like any other wedding, just nothing creative.
Also, we are on a budget and will be serving pre-selected free beer and wine, but the guests will have to pay for anything else they want at the cash bar. We didn’t have to pay a dime for our drinks at my fiancé’s friend’s wedding, and could have basically anything you wanted for free. Now I feel cheap. I want my guests to have a good time and remember our wedding.
Are you doing anything special or out of the ordinary for your wedding? Is this dancing thing becoming the norm?
Post # 3
I think what the guests will remember most is seeing your happiness and the love that you share as a couple. Every couple is different and expresses their relationship in different ways. If you are a laid-back couple, your quiet affection can be just as powerful and memorable as a more ‘trendy’ or flashy demonstration. Make sure you just take time to personally thank the guests and be genuine when you thank them—if they feel like you are truly glad they are there, if they feel welcomed and if they get to see you having a truly wonderful time, it will be a memorable experience.
Post # 4
All weddings are unique. Try not to compare yours to the one you just attended. Yours will be awesome just because it is yours! Also, we didn’t have a creative dance for the ceremony. Most weddings don’t. You just happened to just attend one that did have one. As far as your colors, music artist, etc. being the same, don’t worry. They’ll think you have great taste since you have similar ones! 🙂
Post # 5
agreed, don’t stress over it! there may be lots of coincidences like the same singer or colors, but in comparing the two styles, i’d honestly rather go to your wedding! theirs seems kind of cheesy and trendy and second-hand embarrass-y whereas yours seems like it will be more heartfelt, meaningful and laidback and hold up better over time. and hey, at least your guitarist hasn’t ever been publicly shamed for beating up his gf. don’t sweat it and keep on keepin’ on!
Post # 6
I wouldn’t really worry about the similarities. The only people that will know which song you chose for the first dance is you, and that’s what matters.
Each wedding is unique in its own way…as long as it reflects you and your FI and you’ve made it into what you want, that’s all that matters 🙂
Post # 7
If I’ve learned anything from this whole process it’s that comparing your wedding to your friends’ weddings is 100% pointless and a total waste of energy. Trust me, I’ve spend hours agonizing over the *three* friends’ weddings we’ve attended this summer/fall. I think in general guests don’t really notice similarities…they’re there to celebrate you two as a couple and get a good meal 🙂
Post # 8
agreed – I know it’s hard but try not to compare. Everyone will just be happy for you two on your big day so make it as special as possible. Just think maybe they’ll see yours and think how frivalous they were!
Post # 9
Don’t feel like you need to change anything. You chose what you did because YOU LIKE IT. That is how you want your day to be, and you would feel uncomfortable if you did something that wasn’t you. Your guests are going to love it either way, but more importantly, YOU will. Who knows–some people might have thought the other wedding was too over the top and may like a more laid back wedding even better.
As for having the same things in your wedding, I have that fear. I am not engaged yet, but I know it’s coming soon, so naturally I have been planning in my head for quite some time. Well, in the last 2 weddings I went to I have seen SO MANY things that I have wanted for a LONG TIME–and no, I don’t talk to the brides that often at all. They BOTH used 2 of the 3 colors I want, and they are colors that I did not think were used very often. The one bride had the exact dress I want (and my BF commented that he liked it, grrr!!) and they both used sparklers, as I had planned (and none of our friends up until that point used them). There are more similiaries than that, but those were the big ones. I know how frustrating it can be, but (and I have to tell myself the same thing) nobody is going to remember what colors you used, what songs were played, or really anything except the fact that you looked beautiful and are now so happily married.
Good luck with your last month of planning!
Post # 10
I think everyone just has different styles. I actually would prefer a laid back wedding, and guitar music down the aisle sounds so romantic! I think sometimes people are trying to do everything so big, and they forget what the wedding is really about, and for this simple can be better.
I wouldn’t worry about having similarities in your wedding. Since it’s a different style, you’ll use the colors differently.
People won’t remember your wedding as the one they have to buy a drink at, they’ll be too busy paying attention to the beautiful scenery and having fun dancing!
Post # 11
This is going to sound mean, but the whole “Forever” thing – I’d be embarassed if I saw someone doing this. Ya it was awesome the first time (youtube video, if that was even the first time someone did something like that) but to copy something so unique like that, I think is tacky.
Anyway that wasn’t your question – I agree with the other bees. A wedding is suppose to be unique to each couple. I know mine will be “boring” compared to some that our guests have gone to or will be going to in the future, but if they’re going to complain about what WE want for OUR wedding, then they can go eff themselves! plain and simple. Do what you want, enjoy your day, and the marriage and that’s all that matters.
Post # 12
No one is going to compare your weddings in a critical way. What people like so much about weddings is the spirit of the event. Guests can feel when the couple is truly happy, and that feeling permeates and shapes the whole event. If you’re having fun, everyone else will, too.
Post # 13
I agree with the other Bees. Don’t let it stress you out. We just went to a wedding recently, less than 2 months after our own wedding. It was totally different than ours in every way – was our wedding more boring because we didn’t have dancing or offer reception entertainment? Heck no, it was just US. And at the end of the day that’s what’s important.
Post # 14
I think your wedding sounds beautiful and classy!! I think sometimes people get too caught up in “putting on a show”… and it’s not really about that. I like a sincere wedding, showing the two people in love, and thats exactly how yours sounds 🙂 I think they’ll be very different, but not in a bad comparison sort of way.
Post # 15
I have a quote hanging on my desk here at work that applies to this perfectly! I printed it out when I saw it and have it taped up right in front of me at the top of my monitor. To give credit where it’s due, it came from an interview done by Offbeat Bride of Khris Cochran, who is an author of DIY Bride….I read it to myself repeatedly:
“I do know that worrying about what other people do for their weddings (or what they think of one’s own) is a one-way ticket to Crazytown, USA. There will always be someone with a better idea, a larger budget, or whatever-pushes-your-insecurity-button.”
Now I’m not saying that this means this other couple had any better ideas than you or anything like that, and, in fact, I agree wholeheartedly with Ryansgirl that the “Forever thing” is unoriginal and I’m getting pretty tired of it. I would definitely be embarrassed to sit and watch it in person. That said, if it was what they wanted to do and they had fun doing it, then good for them, I guess. But if you tried to do things the way someone else did them, it wouldn’t be your wedding anymore…
I’m sure your wedding will be beautiful just the way you’ve planned it!
Post # 16
I’ve been to a billion weddings. I know it sounds like I compare them because I can often remember little details (“oh she had those flowers and she had those ones”) but the truth is this:
The best weddings are those that are harmonious with who the couples are.
So if you’re not the type to dance down the aisle a la “The Office” then don’t–I don’t think people would expect you to and I don’t think they’ll hold it against you if you don’t. Have the wedding that makes YOU comfortable because when YOU are comfortable and have fun, everyone else will be comfortable and have fun.
That’s the bottom line, whether it involves free booze or cash bar.