Post # 1
I’m making a long story short but I need advice. Please read and advise..
My husband and I will have been married for 2 years in a few months. Our marriage has been rocky but since a month or so ago it’s been worse than usual. I found out that he was sending poetry through email to a girl he had met through his cousin. He had seen her at his job (he is a trainer at a gym) and also at his weekend job (a bouncer at a popular night spot). I found out because she and him were talking in code on their twitter pages and I caught on to that they were reciting poetry that they had written. They have gone to lunch together and even a strip club with my brother-in-law. He swears that it was not a physical relationship and that they have just hugged but I’m having a difficult time getting over it.
We are in couples counseling now and he is dealing with some inner issues but I am having such a hard time letting go of this. This girl is only 21 years old and is very childish. She has said things about me on her twitter page and still comments on my husband’s page and his pictures. I have not felt very confident about myself in years after having a child and just kind of letting myself go. This situation just dampens my self esteem even more.
I’m not sure how to move on. My husband and I are separated right now with hopes that one day we’ll work things out but I am just really lost.
Post # 3
I am so sorry you are going through that. I know many people might not agree with me, but I find it strange and unacceptable for my bf/fiance/husband to develop a close relationship with another woman after we’ve already been together. Unless, of course, she is a mutual friend. People might see that as being jealous or possessive (I’m a Scorpio, so maybe) but I’m just not ok with my fiance latching on to another female and building a bond with them. I don’t blame you for being upset about this because I would be extremely furious. You said that you let yourself go after you had kids. Why don’t you just pamper yourself for a change. Go out and get your hair and makeup done, get a manicure and pedicure, and get a new sexy outfit. And then treat yourself to a night out. Build your confidence back up because I am sure you are a beautiful woman. And a man cannot resist a confident woman and he will be kicking himself for pushing you away.
Post # 4
@blondie634 – Thank you. That’s exactly how I feel. He has a lot of female friends but I’m also friends with those girls and I know their intentions. I do not know this girl’s intentions but I don’t think they’re good. I do feel like I need to build my confidence up and I’m slowly getting there. I don’t have many friends to go out with but I do need a night out.
Post # 5
what he did is wrong and it is not a reflection on you. Move on by concentrating on you and your kids.
Post # 6
@blondie634: I agree, this is wonderful advice.
OP: Start learning to take care of yourself – for yourself! Regardless of whether your marriage works out or not, this is YOUR life! Everyone goes through hard times but you don’t have to let it keep you down forever. If he did what he did, he hurt you and he was wrong. Very wrong. Now you have separated from him, which in my mind is a good thing. I would consider what he did cheating, even though not everyone would. Regardless of him, or what he does or does not do, though, you still need to put yourself first in your own life. Learn to love yourself, and everything in your life will begin to fall in place. It sounds cliche, I know, but it really is true. Do whatever it takes to start taking even small steps towards self-love. You never know, the man of your dreams could be around the corner or maybe your husband will get a wake-up call. Either way, do it for you, you deserve to live well.
Post # 8
@Sidd_Jones: I second what Blondie said. You should start doing things for you. Every woman needs “ME” time. Go pamper yourself and do things that you enjoy doing. After women have kids, they are more likely to let themselves go because of the added stress and responsibility, but it is important to continue to pamper yourself and have time for yourself. Counseling is great for you to both talk through your issues and problems. I hope everything works out for you!
Post # 9
I agree with Blondie. I’d take you out myself if I could. (hugs)
Post # 11
I also PM’d you. (((Hugs)))