- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I’m sorry this is so long…this was a drama filled weekend…
I had my bachelorette party this weekend and we all decided to spend the holiday weekend at the beach. Out of my 5 bridesmaids, 4 went, plus 2 other of my close girl friends. They all know each other, but one of my bridesmaids, “Jane” is not that close with one of my other friends, “Mary”…other than those two, everyone else are pretty close friends.
My MOH set us up in a nice oceanside resort hotel and it seemed like it was going to be a great weekend. We got there Friday evening, kinda late, so we decided to stay in and drink and play card games. Everything seemed fine, and everyone was getting along well.
Saturday morning, we decided to go spend the day hanging out at the resorts many pools and lazy river and going to the beach. Jane, my MOH and I walked across the street to the beach store to buy a beach towel and were going to meet everyone else at the pool. We ended up shopping a bit and then met everyone at the pool.
After the pool, we all went up to the suite to get ready for the evening to go to dinner and out to the club. Jane was complaining about how fried her hair was from dyeing it, and Mary offered her some hair product that she uses. Jane took it and used it and thanked her for it. Dinner was great, everything seemed fine, but once the checks came, Jane took my tab and handed the waitress cash to cover my food and hers, and then immediately got up and left the restaurant while everyone else was waiting to get their change/cards back.
When we got outside, Jane was standing there talking on her phone, got off the phone and left us and walked into a clothing store. She said she wanted to find something to wear to the club and that she was going to change clothes, even though she already had a cute outfit on for the club. We followed her in, she tried on a dress, didn’t get it and walked out. She was quiet and not really talking to any of us, basically ignoring the fact that 6 girls were following her around.
We ended up following her into several other stores before I went up to her (I literally had to run in heels to catch up with her because she kept walking off) and said that I was in 5inch heels and I wasn’t really trying to walk the whole strip and lets all go to the bar to start drinking. She told me to go ahead and she’d meet us there.
At this point I was upset and didn’t understand why she was acting this way, so the rest of us found a bar and I texted her where we were at, asked her what was wrong and told her thank you for buying my dinner. She replied back that she was kinda mad that I hadn’t told her thank you yet, and that she felt like she didn’t fit in with the other girls. I told her that I coudn’t even tell her thank you because she got up and left everyone at dinner and then kept walking away ignoring everyone in the group.
After a while, she meets us a the bar with a new shirt on, said hey to everyone and acted like everything was fine. She bought us all a shot and I heard everyone that was around me tell her thank you. We left there and went into a club where she bought everyone jello shots. Mary offered her some money for the shots and Jane wouldn’t take it, so Mary said thanks. We were all dancing, drinking and having a good time—except for Jane. She kept walking off and was texting on her phone the whole night.
At some point Jane came up to me and told me that she was leaving to go check out the club next door. I said ok and told her we’d all meet her there. We finished our drinks and left and I found Jane leaning up against the wall in the club texting on her phone again.
She told me that a friend of hers was in that town too and that she was going to go meet up with her that night and leave with her to go home early the next day. She claimed that at dinner she felt like everyone was talking about her and she felt like Mary was texting another friend talking about her. She also claimed that Mary was talking shit when she offered her to use her hair product. She said the whole weekend she felt left out and that she just didn’t fit it. She said she tried to make an effort by buying everyone shots and that nobody told her thank you. I told her that I heard the other girls say thank you when she bought the shots and that she was excluding herself by constantly walking away and being on her phone.
I told her it really hurt my feelings that she was acting this way and that she was acting extremely paranoid because nobody was talking about her or excluding her and she was doing it to herself. She admitted that maybe she was a little paranoid about it.
I went to Mary and asked her who she was texting during dinner. She showed me her phone and said she was talking to her boyfriend (who was with FI at his bachelor party) about how good the food was. She had just tried she-crab soup for the first time and loved it.
I told Jane that Mary was not talking about her and that there was no reason for her to feel left out. Everytime we went somewhere or did anything, she would kind of segregate herself from the rest of us. I told her we all wanted her there and we all just wanted to have fun.
We all walked to the cab, and while we were getting in, Jane told us she wasn’t coming with us. We begged her to get in the car because we didn’t want to leave her there by herself, and she wouldn’t, so we left and went back to the hotel (I wanted to change shoes before we went anywhere else.)
When we pulled up at the hotel, Jane was a cab right behind us, but she didn’t get out. We walked up to the window and she told us she was going to meet her friend at another club and that she’d be back later. We told her we were planning to go to a different club, and that she should come with us. She said no, and left in the cab.
The rest of us got back to the room and I was upset that she wanted to leave, it killed my buzz for the night and we all decided were weren’t going to go back out. We all changed to PJs and sat around drinking, talking and eating junk food.
Jane texted me that she couldn’t get into the club her friend was at and that she was coming back to the hotel. Her friend apparently wasn’t answering her phone. She came back, sat down, ordered a pizza and then sat outside on the balcony by herself and didn’t talk to anyone. I went to sleep and the next morning the girls told me that she got her pizza, ate it, and then came in and talked to all of them like everything was fine.
The next morning (Sunday), I asked Jane if she was going to come to the pool with us and drink or if she was still planning on leaving. She told me she was just going to wash her face and change clothes and she’d meet us at the pool. Jane never came down. I found out a little while later that she took a cab to a car rental place and rented a car to go back home. When I got back to the room, I had a missed call from her. I tried to call her back and it rang twice and went to v-mail so I felt like she must have hit ignore. Then her FB status was a passive aggressive comment about “knowing who your real friends are…”
The rest of the weekend was great and drama-free, we had an amazing time.
She didn’t speak to me or try to contact me at all until last night she texted me saying she was so so sorry and wanted to come over to talk today. Her recollection of the events around the weekend are different than everyone else’s and are skewed in a way that somehow anything anyone was saying or doing about was about her and that the other girls excluded her. I personally heard the other girls ask her to do things with them, and she declined everytime.
My feelings are just really hurt by all the drama she caused and I’m worried about whether or not she can manage to put on her big girl panties and deal with being around these same girls for my wedding, or if she’ll cause drama or leave the wedding. I don’t know what to do, or why she acted out like this this weekend. The other girls seem to think that she just wanted attention and was being selfish because the attention was on me, not her, so she created all this drama out of nothing to make everything about her.
If you made it through all this…thanks!! Advice??